


Snow Angel

by SnowyEars (lyraonyx)



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alpha Inuyasha is happy to let him Lead, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Atypical A/B/O Setup, Beta Sesshoumaru is still mostly Dominant, Blood Drinking (brief), Boys are Sweet and Fluffy, Child Loss, Digital Art, Dystopia, Emperor Sesshoumaru, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Pack Dynamics, Past Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Rin/Sesshoumaru, Post-Canon, Post-War, Retribution is Sweet, they are demons after all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:07:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27598678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyraonyx/pseuds/SnowyEars
Summary: Four-hundred years after the feudal era and just after WWII, youkai are all but extinct. The humans the Inu brothers once loved are all gone, and those who took their place are more dangerous than the cruelest demon ever claimed to be. In this once-beautiful land, now ravaged by war and grief, a solitary ray of hope appears in the night: Inuyasha has come home, and a new princess is on the way. Perhaps there is some hope for Sesshoumaru's kingdom—and his line—to survive after all.
Relationships: InuYasha/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 85
Kudos: 117





	1. Through the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> So, welcome to my first attempt at dystopian fic (though a fluffy version of it). The story itself makes the setting plain, so I'll just put a few notes and warnings here. 
> 
> I'm still in the process of writing this, so it won't come as fast as my last InuSess fic. I'm dealing with chronic illness and unpacking after a move, so I'm still pretty worn down, too.
> 
> There may be some minor character death later, haven't decided yet, but it does happen in war. 
> 
> Usually, I prefer beta/omega Inuyasha and alpha Sesshoumaru. This story is the reverse of that. Which means Inuyasha is dom here, though not a rough one.
> 
> 200 years of war and grief have altered the boys irrevocably. Don't expect them to attack each other. Their existence is too precarious for infighting now, and neither Inu is the same after losing people they held precious. 
> 
> Past rape is mentioned. Not shown in detail, though the boys talk about it eventually. 
> 
> Right. That should be it for now. With that said, on with the story!

#  _**SNOW ANGEL** _

* * *

#  **Chapter 1**

##  _Through the Storm_

Sesshoumaru stood by the window of the Western Shadow Castle and watched fat snowflakes swirl on the breeze. The season should have changed weeks before. He had no idea what omen a blizzard so late in the season and so far from the mountains might portend, but he smelled change in the air, and that couldn't be good. Not in this shade of what Japan used to be. 

He drew his fur tighter around his shoulders and considered alerting his guards to the possibility of trouble, but as he had nothing but a hunch to prove his worries and no substantial idea of what form his fears might take, he resisted the urge. Perhaps he would send out scouts.

No. That would invite trouble if they made the slightest misstep. His spies were the best of the best, but in this weather and with hostile lands on all sides, even the best might make mistakes. 

Much as the thought unnerved him, he had little choice but to watch and wait. Whatever new trouble fate had in store for his kingdom would come soon enough, and until then, he could do nothing but ready himself to face it.

He turned from the window and headed for the nearest entry point. 

As Sesshoumaru performed a 'routine' inspection of the castle's security, he lamented the changed world that rendered it a necessity. Kagome's future had foretold the shift in power from demons to humans, but he hadn't imagined it would come like _this_. Somehow, in those early days, he had imagined—hoped for—some kind of peaceful transition. Perhaps the youkai had found a better place and moved on from Japan.

He only wished he could still afford to be so naïve.

They were still fifty years shy of Kagome's original time, and the future of Sesshoumaru's people looked grim. Grimmer than his worst fears. Youkai hadn't peacefully escaped to a better land. Humanity's bloodlust and greed had driven them to verge of extinction. Sesshoumaru ruled the youkai now, not because of conquest or a willing transfer of power, but for the sole reason that he was the only daiyoukai left.

Already, the dark harbingers of looming fate shadowed Japan. Gone were the warring youkai, the demon courts, the vast spans of forest where no human footstep had ever fallen. Sesshoumaru's castle and city, tucked away behind a wall of magic designed to divert and discourage human presence, had become a lone sanctuary in a landscape torn asunder by war.

Humans, it seemed, couldn't even resist killing each other.

For all their frailty and short lifespans, they were inventive, industrious souls—and insatiable in their greed. Their lust for more land, more power, more _everything_ , had driven the demons into hiding centuries ago. The only youkai who roamed the lands these days were either stupid and cocky, incredibly naïve, or suicidal.

Even Sesshoumaru took no chances with those monsters, not anymore. Pride had no place in war this bloody. Two centuries ago, after war had ravaged the land and the humans' newfound power and bloodlust became clear, he had gathered the magicians and practioners of warding among the few youkai remaining and erected the invisible barrier around his lands. It worked well enough to keep his city safe—so long as the youkai under his rule obeyed the laws and stayed well behind it. 

Once, when the barrier was new and hope still held sway over the populace, an army of brave and reckless youths had crossed in hopes of rescuing others trapped beyond and driving the humans further from their sanctuary. A hundred enterprising youths had set forth with that noble goal in mind, but they had learned too quickly that the humans' explosive weapons hit with as much force as a daiyoukai. Of an entire batallion of trained warriors, only two had returned, and those two would never be the same. 

Not a single family had escaped unscathed that day. Not even Sesshoumaru's.

The urge for wanderlust had died in his remaining subjects when Tomiichi and Kiko staggered across the barrier, both missing limbs and Kiko forever blinded. Even Tensaiga had no power to raise the other warriors from such brutal violence as what had met them beyond the veil.

No one had crossed the barrier since.

Sesshoumaru might be able to challenge the humans himself, he supposed. Their guns and their poisons and bloodlust wouldn't harm him to the same extent as a less powerful youkai, but the humans were sneaky little bastards, and Inuyasha had proven long ago that he wasn't invincible. 

No. It wasn't worth it. Revealing himself might give him temporary satisfaction against the murderous brutes, but it would also put himself and his entire kingdom in danger, and the days when Sesshoumaru had cared for nothing and no one had long since died. Rin had burned that out of him centuries ago. 

Rin, Homura, and a certain puppy-eared hanyou who, despite Sesshoumaru's past cruelty and their broken kinship bond, was never far from his thoughts. 

Kami help him, he wished Inuyasha would come home. With their mates gone and no pups to raise, they had no one left but each other. As long as Inuyasha stayed away, hidden too well for even Sesshoumaru to track, they had no one left at all, and Sesshoumaru was tired of being alone. Oh, he had the courtiers and guards and servants, but no one he trusted with his life the way he had trusted his brother once. No one who genuinely cared for the youkai under the guise of royalty but his personal servant, no one who cared more for the daiyoukai himself than his throne. 

Inuyasha had never wanted Sesshoumaru's power. From the first moment and down to the last, he had only wanted his brother to care about him. That boy had seen Sesshoumaru at his worst and, somehow, loved him anyway. Besides Rin, Homura, and Aiko, the servant who had helped raise him and cared for him when his mother did not, he had been the only person to love him.

And, like the prideful fool he had been in those days, Sesshoumaru had thrown him away.

He knew better now. Centuries of solitude and shadows and silence, lost behind the veil with nothing but grief and allies at his side, no true companions, no pack of his own, had forced him into a reckoning with his shortcomings. There was no room for pride, no room to alienate one's allies in this shadowed time.

He had been a selfish idiot to reject his brother in the first place, war or no, but his remorse had come far too late. He would apologize to Inuyasha and ask him to stay if the hanyou would ever show his face in the West, but Sesshoumaru hadn't seen him since the War of Exile over two-hundred years ago, when demons had retreated into shadows and myth for their own safety.

Kami, he hoped Inuyasha had survived.

With a shudder, he turned from the second floor fortress windows and climbed the stairs to the eastern battlement. A storm like this would limit even a daiyoukai's visibility, but from the highest point in the castle, he might learn _something_ of what threat lay in wait for his kingdom this time.

The wind buffeted his chest and drove stinging crystals into his eyes the moment he surfaced. Damn, this was one hell of a storm. He hadn't seen snow like this since his childhood, when his parents had taken him to the mountains during the midwinter lunar festival. Snow rarely touched the lands this far west to begin with, but the world seemed warmer since those days. At least it had until last night, when a sudden cold snap had killed the sakura blossoms and coated every budding leaf and blade of grass in crystalline ice. It was beautiful, to watch the sun set on a world of glass and snow and frozen clouds of pink, but it was the stark beauty of death, an omen Sesshoumaru didn't appreciate in these uncertain times. Any unexpected change in this fragile existence the youkai had carved out for themselves left him on edge.

Change was rarely good in a world balanced upon the edge of a sword.

Sesshoumaru shielded his eyes with a clawed hand and peered through the endless sea of white. Nothing. Not a hint of whatever trouble had his youki in fits. Nothing but white and cold and the blank, pure scent of snow. Then, a sudden surge of heat in his lower back and the distant sound of breaking glass sent his heart crashing through the floor. 

Someone had broken through the barrier. 

"My lord?" A kitsune guard leapt from the archer's tower and landed beside the emperor. "Is everything all right?"

Sesshoumaru stared out over the battlement, but the snow obscured too much, and the wind carried the intruder's scent away. He held up a hand and waited, fearing a second burst, or—Kami forbid—an army's worth of them, but the barrier did not shift again. A lone traveler then.

It might be a demon seeking sanctuary.

Or it might be a spy.

"There is someone approaching fr—"

The wind shifted, and a flurry of new scents drifted to Sesshoumaru's sensitive nose. The metallic tang of blood and the lightning-sharp burn of powerful youki. A hint of wet dog smell and the salt of tears laced with the cloying fragrance of human skin and rank sweat. Overall, the smell of pine and cedar haunted him with memories from another life, flashes of a shattered bond he had thought he would never have a chance to heal.

Sesshoumaru froze, heart thundering louder than the wails of the storm, louder than the crash of disbelief and sudden, overpowering emotion ringing in his soul. He would know that scent anywhere. 

_'Inuyasha!'_

The forest the hanyou had made his home all his life still clung to him like a second skin. The tangy-sharp zing of his youki charged Sesshoumaru with different emotions than it had once inspired, but the feel of his aura still reminded him of home, even if something… too sweet, something foreign, had altered it slightly.

A new kind of sting in his eyes and a rush of heat on his icy cheeks stunned him. He hadn't cried since the centennial anniversary of Homura's death. Not in waking moments, at least, though his dreams of the past still cut deeper than any sword. 

"M-my lord?" The stunned guard panicked a bit at the sight of his emperor's rare emotional display. "Kami, what is it?"

Sesshoumaru blinked another surge of tears back, took a steadying, freezing breath into his lungs, and waved the guard down. "All is well. It is only my otouto." 

The guard gasped. "Inuyasha? He's come home after all this time?"

"So it seems." So Sesshoumaru hoped anyway. "Stand down. He is not to be harmed."

"Understood, my lord. I will carry the message to the others."

With a nod and a bracing sigh, Sesshoumaru leapt from the battlement and flew into the wind. Inuyasha had come back to him, at last, but the odor of blood and tears on the air told Sesshoumaru his brother needed help. 

Kami, what had happened to him? Something major. It would have to be to drive him out of hiding and back to the brother he had no reason to believe would welcome his presence after two centuries without a sign of him.

Sesshoumaru scowled into the wind. He had really been an ass to his otouto, hadn't he?

A short distance ahead, a splash of bright red appeared through the snow. Blood, or Inuyasha's fire rat robe? Sesshoumaru hoped for the latter and shot towards the injured hanyou. 

As he approached, his powerful eyes picked out more and more details of his brother's form. Thank the Kami, it _was_ his fire rat robe Sesshoumaru had seen. Or, more accurately, the hakama. Inuyasha wore the crimson haori loose over a white kosode rather than closing it over his torso as he had always done, and as Sesshoumaru came nearer, he understood why.

Inuyasha was _pregnant_. No, not just pregnant. By the size of his stomach and the acrid scent of pain on the air, he was in _labor_.

"By the Kami!"

With that sharp cry, Sesshoumaru dropped clear out of the sky and landed in an explosion of white before his struggling brother.


	2. Forced Homecoming

#  **Chapter 2**

##  _Forced Homecoming_

For the past six hours, Inuyasha had run on all fours through the snow, damn near blinded from the storm and chilled through despite his youkai blood. With his sight and sense of direction so hampered, and the winds too wild to give any reliable scent trail, he had instead followed the pull of his weak pack bond to his older brother—his only lifeline in this frozen hell. Somehow. Perhaps some benevolent spirit out there hadn't given up on him yet. Kagome? Maybe.

Well, however he managed it, he was sure by now he had found the right place, and thank the Kami for that. Kagome, too. He had little time left, and Inuyasha's claws and sword couldn't save him from this disaster. Much as it rankled, he needed help. He needed _Sesshoumaru_ , gods help him. The bastard would probably attack him on sight.

No. No, that was just his fear and pain talking. Sesshoumaru hadn't been there for him over the past four centuries, no, but he hadn't hurt him either, and they had fought together to drive the humans back two-hundred years ago—at least until Sesshoumaru fucked him over. Even so, ass that he was, surely even his cold as fuck brother wouldn't sit back and watch him and his pup die in agony. 

Actually, he might—Inuyasha hadn't forgotten the way Sesshoumaru had abandoned the weakened, injured hanyou to fend for himself after the Battle of the Veil, as the demons called it. Or the Battle of the Purge according to humanity. Whatever one chose to call it, Inuyasha had rushed to his brother's side that day, only to be left to suffer alone. Again. And that after he'd sacrificed half his skin to save Sesshoumaru's ass.

Still, even if Sesshoumaru proved to be as big of a dick as Inuyasha feared, the hanyou had no other choice but to seek him out now. 

There was no one else left. 

Inuyasha blended with humans because he had to, to survive, but the fact that they wanted his entire species dead hampered any real trust between them, at least since the last of his human pack had gone beyond. And demons—well, hanyou had it rough from both sides. Besides Shippou and Kirara, no youkai gave a flying fuck about Inuyasha. Most of them would sooner kill him than help him. 

Shippou was supposed to be here, damn it. Necessity had taught the kitsune to become a powerful healer as well as a technology expert, and he had always planned to help his surrogate father when the time came, but that plan hadn't worked out either. Thinking Inuyasha would be fine with six weeks left in his pregnancy, Shippou had gone on an urgent intelligence mission to the northern isle three days before.

Inuyasha was about as far from 'fine' as it was possible to be. Damn his lousy luck. 

Well, really, they should have planned for this possibility. Male alphas weren't built to bear. They should have considered premature labor would be a strong possibility, but hell! There had, maybe, been three or four alphas who had successfully carried a child to term before Inuyasha, and none in the past several centuries. Shippou had almost no data to draw upon. 

It hardly mattered now. Whether their mistakes had sprung from ignorance or incaution, Inuyasha was well and truly in labor, and that had put him in one hell of a bind. 

Kirara had rushed off after Shippou when early labor had set in, but she wouldn't reach him before it was too late, and Inuyasha couldn't ride her without making them both a giant flying target for every sniper and missile craft between Hiroshima and Hokkaidu. He had no chance in hell of making it all the way to the northern isle on foot in this condition either. Nor could he run to the nearest human hospital or demon healer—either one would, most likely, kill both Inuyasha and his pup. That left him with only a single glimmer of hope: Sesshoumaru.

Small hope that it was.

The faint scent of his brother hit him in the face, and Inuyasha staggered toward it as fast as his anguished, weakened body allowed. Almost there. Almost to the end of this hell, whatever the outcome.

If Sesshoumaru didn't help him this time, Inuyasha had no illusions that he would survive the night.

"By the Kami!" 

Inuyasha swore he recognized that voice, but before he had time to process it, a snow drift ahead exploded into a cloud of white, red, and a massive fall of silvery strands. With a muffled curse, he skidded to a halt before he collided with whatever fool had leapt directly into his path.

"Who the hell do you think you—?" He cut off his sharp challenge—a bluff, of course—at the sight of a pale, muscled frame and massive stole of white fur emerging from under a veritable sea of silver hair. Kami. 

"S-Sesshoumaru."

"Yes, I—" The gale slapped Sesshoumaru's hair into his face, and the daiyoukai huffed and tossed the snowy sheet over his shoulders. Idiot. Why did he still wear it so long? It was damn dangerous not to blend in, and most male humans wore their hair short these days. Certainly not past their ass.

Then again, Sesshoumaru and his kingdom had the benefit of magical barriers to hide their demonic traits. Inuyasha and Shippou had never had anything to rely upon but their own wits and strength. All told, the duo had done all right, considering.

Sesshoumaru approached, eyes taking in every detail of his form and lips turned in a frown, an expression Inuyasha would have called concerned on anyone but Sesshoumaru.

"Inuyasha? What has happened to you?"

Inuyasha snarled, "Ain't it obvious?"

"Of course, but _how_? And why have you traveled here alone, in _this_?" Sesshoumaru waved at the howling winds. "Even for youkai, this storm is dangerous."

"Hap—ugh. Shit happens, and weird shit happens to me. And I had to come. Had—had no choice." Inuyasha grimaced at another wave of pain. "Ses-Sesshoumaru, I…."

"I know." Sesshoumaru slid a bracing arm behind Inuyasha's shoulders. "I will carry you to safety, if you can trust me."

 _Carry him_? Oh, _hell_ no. Not when he was this vulnerable.

Inuyasha's ears flattened against his hair, though his illusion earring hid them from anyone not keyed into its security wards. Sesshoumaru definitely didn't qualify.

"I-I can walk."

A flash of something like pain crossed the elder demon's face, and Inuyasha knew he was delirious. Sesshoumaru, reveal pain and vulnerability to his filthy hanyou brother? Fat chance. 

"Just—just need a healer I can trust not to hurt me or—ughn." Inuyasha doubled over and whined until the next contraction passed. He could have sworn he felt gentle hands on his back and shoulders during the worst of it, but as that was ludicrous, he assumed the pain and blood loss had muddled his brain.

"A healer who—who won't hurt me or—h-hurt my pup."

"The chief healer is very experienced in birthing and quite professional, but… I do not understand, Inuyasha. I had thought—are you not an alpha?" 

"Yeah, but—" Inuyasha growled. "Oh, what do you care? I just—I need— _fuck_!"

"Come. I will take you to the royal hospital and see to your safety." Sesshoumaru's tone was soft and gentle, but it only put Inuyasha on guard. What the hell was his game _this_ time?

"The fuck are you trying to do?" Inuyasha snarled, "I ain't falling for it ag—oh, gods, it hurts."

Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's shoulders, and Inuyasha yelped and jerked back. What the fuck? Was Sesshoumaru trying to _comfort_ him? No. No, he _had_ to be delirious.

But Sesshoumaru's hands trembled as they fell, slowly, to his sides, and his eyes were shadowed and rimmed in pink—the storm. It had to be the storm, right?

"I see." Sesshoumaru sighed and turned away. "If you cannot bear my aid, I will call for help you might trust better. Follow me, if you are able." The toneless sound of his voice rang hollow and cold in Inuyasha's heart. The answering pang in their pack bond convinced him there might be more to this than simple delirium.

"I—aniki, what the hell is going on? Why are you being so… _nice_?"

Sesshoumaru stopped, back to Inuyasha and shoulders tense. The wind carried his voice to Inuyasha's ears. "I am not the cruel youkai I used to be." Sesshoumaru turned to face him, and Inuyasha couldn't deny the stark pain in his eyes this time—he felt the echoes in his own heart. "The world today is colder than I ever was, otouto, even for daiyoukai."

Inuyasha hesitated. He wanted to believe it, but—

"Agh!"

Sesshoumaru's voice reached Inuyasha through a haze of red, searing agony. "Otouto, is there anything I can do to ease your pain until we arrive?"

Inuyasha snorted bitterly. "Not unless you want to rub the tension out of your _filthy half-breed_ brother's muscles and support me thr—hey!" 

He gasped at gentle pressure against his aching stomach and back. Holy fuck! Those were Sesshoumaru's hands. On _his_ body. Trying to _ease his pain_.

The world had, without a doubt, turned on its head, but…

But Sesshoumaru's touch alleviated the horrible ache inside him, both physical and mental, and the part of him broken by centuries of loss would not let him protest. Something primal within him eased, too, something he had fought to suppress for centuries. One soft touch from Sesshoumaru, and it curled up like a sleepy kitten. 

The implications of that left him reeling.

No. There was no way this cold, demanding, domineering daiyoukai could _possibly_ be—but what else would explain it? Inuyasha had only felt this with Kazo, Shippou's beta son. When the boy had curled up in his lap and snuggled in for a bedtime story, all the pent up ennui and restlessness inside Inuyasha had melted into fuzzy warmth and peace. 

For an instant, grief overwhelmed his physical anguish. Kami, he missed that little boy.

"Sesshoumaru, are you a—?" His gut clenched and reminded him this was not the time for that conversation. He would definitely have questions for Sesshoumaru later, though. 

"A-aniki, I need…."

Sesshoumaru gave a whine Inuyasha suspected was involuntary. "I would carry you if you trusted me, but—"

"Do it," Inuyasha gasped out.

Betas wouldn't hurt a pregnant mother, no matter their history. It went against the very core of their nature. 

And Inuyasha had little other choice. He had come here for Sesshoumaru's help, after all. It made no sense to deny Sesshoumaru the ability to aid him if the daiyoukai actually cared enough to try. 

Sesshoumaru nodded and eased the suffering hanyou into his arms. "Hold on. I have you."

The reassurance comforted Inuyasha in spite of himself. With a whimper of pain, he clung to Sesshoumaru's neck and panted through his contractions. 

"Hurry, aniki. I'm not—not built like a beta."

Sesshoumaru's arms clenched around him. Softly, he murmured against Inuyasha's hair, "I won't let you down again."

Inuyasha wasn't sure he believed him, but even so, that Sesshoumaru had said those words at all indicated a massive change from the past. With a shudder, he panted against his brother's chest and dared to believe he and his pup might just survive the night after all.


	3. Under Duress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how happy I am with this story. They're different, and it went odd places I'm also not sure about, but I'm going to finish it anyway. Hope y'all like it.

#  **Chapter 3**

##  _Under Duress_

Sesshoumaru held his brother's human guise tight and flew as fast as he dared for the healer. He would have used his energy form to carry them faster, but condensing them both into light wouldn't do now, not with Inuyasha in the middle of his human night and in labor. He had no idea what it might do to them, but he didn't imagine it would be good. And he had no idea what kind of sire the pup had anyway. If its father was human or even a hanyou, the pup might be more human than youkai. And humans weren't built to withstand youki, certainly not at that power level.

Wait a minute. The father—where was he?

"Inuyasha, should I make arrangements for your mate to stay—"

The snarl that cut across Sesshoumaru's words arrested him to the spot. 

"I ain't got a goddamn mate. Kagome was—was the only one, and now…."

Sesshoumaru held him tighter. "I understand, otouto."

Inuyasha snapped, "You understand? What would you know about—"

"Inuyasha. I mated Rin."

Inuyasha snarled, "I _know_ you did, but you still have no fucking clue what I'm going through, so don't tell me you understand!"

Sesshoumaru looked away. "I, too, have suffered these past four centuries, otouto. Perhaps it is not the same, but I do know what it means to endure alone."

Inuyasha's tense posture eased a little. "Kami. You—you've really changed."

"Yes." Centuries of isolation, war, and grief would change anyone. "Come. We do not have time to delay." Sesshoumaru started towards the healer again, struggling to make sense of the situation. "Inuyasha, if you have no mate and have never wanted anyone but Kagome, how…?"

Inuyasha shuddered. "Aniki, not now. Don't ask me now."

Sesshoumaru swallowed a surge of foreboding. "As you wish." He said nothing else beyond awkward attempts to comfort Inuyasha through his pain and reassure him of his safety until they passed through the west wing gates. 

"Let us pass—quickly."

The guards moved aside with a bow, then checked at the sight of a human in Sesshoumaru's arms. 

"My lord?" The tiger youkai on the left, a protective female usually assigned to guard the most dangerous points of the castle for her loyalty and strength, snarled at the hanyou in his arms. "What in the name of the Kami are you doing with one of _them_?"

"He is not a human, Reiko; he is my otouto. It is only…." Sesshoumaru paused. "Wait. It isn't time for—Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha groaned. "Just—just a disguise. Forgot to turn it off." He reached a shaking hand to the golden ring in his left ear and pulled it down and to the left. "Password: _Izayoi_." With a wash of white light, the human guise melted away, revealing a short crop of white hair and the puppy ears Sesshoumaru remembered.

All three youkai stilled. Inuyasha's labored pants echoed in the sudden silence.

"You—you can change your appearance to look like a human?" The snow leopard demon against the opposite side, a quiet, intelligent male known as Yuki, stepped nearer. "Kami, is it something we can learn?"

Inuyasha snarled and jerked back. "Don't! Don't come near me!"

Sesshoumaru wrapped his fur around his brother, alarmed at the aura of panic and despair charging the hanyou's youki. "Otouto?"

The leopard gave Sesshoumaru a worried look. "I—what did I say, my lord?"

Inuyasha shuddered and rubbed a hand over his face. "Sorry. My fault." He kept edging back from the confused youkai regardless. "Y-yeah, you can do it, too. Just gotta ask my kit to help me make new earrings for you. The—it's the blend of technology and kitsune magic in the earring that— _Kami_." With a whine, he doubled in on himself and panted harshly. "Aniki, _please_."

Sesshoumaru nodded. "Yuki, take over for Reiko until I am able to get Inuyasha to Healer Kazuki. Reiko, come with us and clear a path."

"Hai, Lord Sesshoumaru." 

Both demons bowed and obeyed. The snow leopard moved back into his former spot. The tigress took position before them, a staff held across her agile form in a clear defensive posture. It would warn anyone away and make it obvious the lord did not want to answer questions at the moment. Thank the Kami. 

Sesshoumaru let Reiko lead them at a rapid pace to the healer's quarters. Their journey aroused curiosity and whispers among the citizens they passed, but no one else approached them, and they arrived in the western clinic without further delay.

"Kazuki! Hurry! I am in desperate need of your assistance."

An inuyoukai with black hair, the Shiro golden eyes, and indigo markings similar to Sesshoumaru's—a kuro inuyoukai—rushed out of a back room, his expression grim. "I felt the barrier shift. What poor fool was brash enough to—" 

As Sesshoumaru set Inuyasha on the table nearest him, the healer sucked in a sharp gasp and lifted his hand to his mouth.

"No. Prince Inuyasha? Is it really you?"

Inuyasha whined. "Y-yeah, but—agh!" He bit down against a scream, and the healer shook himself out of his shock. 

"Kami, you're far too deep into labor to have come through _that_." Kazuki bobbed his head toward the window—the frozen panes showed nothing beyond but a swirling mass of white and gray. "Well, no matter. You're here now, and we'll get you through it. Sesshoumaru, if you will step out, I'll examine your brother, and—"

Sesshoumaru cut across him with a quiet, but firm, "No."

Kazuki frowned. "No?"

"I am staying."

Inuyasha gave his brother a suspicious look. "You want to stay. While the healer cuts out my pup."

"Cuts…?" Kazuki grimaced. "I'm sure there's no need to—"

Inuyasha interrupted with a snarl. "Just what the hell game are you playing, aniki?" He growled and hugged his stomach, teeth bared and hackles rising. "If you even _think_ of taking my pup…."

Sesshoumaru flinched. "Inuyasha, you truly think me so terrible as _that_?"

The obvious display of hurt, so rare for him, stopped the hanyou's growling. Inuyasha let his posture ease and held his brother's gaze, expression frank and searching, but there was something wounded behind his eyes. Sesshoumaru knew damn well what it meant.

Inuyasha scowled and edged back. "I just don't get it. Why do you suddenly care about me?"

Sesshoumaru sighed and sat beside the bed. "Otouto, you and your pup are the only kin I have left, and it is not sudden. I have wanted you home for a very long time."

Inuyasha gave a bitter snort. "Yeah, right. You hate me."

"No. Not for four-hundred years."

"Bullshit! If you didn't hate me, then why—" Inuyasha gasped and curled into a fetal position, or as close as he could come in such a state. "Fuck. _Fuck_!"

"Please," Kazuki called, "please, my lord, you must try to calm down, Prince Inuyasha. Such distress is dangerous in your condition."

Inuyasha growled. "I'm not the one who—"

"No," Sesshoumaru said, "I will take responsibility for your anger. It _is_ my fault, but that is not important now. Try to calm yourself, otouto, for your pup's sake if not for your own."

Fine," Inuyasha gritted out, "but only because it hurts too fucking much to fight, and my pup—ughn. Ow, ow, _ow_!"

"It will be over soon." Sesshoumaru rubbed the hanyou's back and stomach, trying to ease the rock-hard muscle under his hands. "I am here, otouto, and I will stay if you allow it."

Inuyasha gasped between moans, "You're giving me a choice?"

"Yes, though…." Sesshoumaru clenched his fist at his side and let drop. No. He couldn't influence him. If Inuyasha forbade him access, he had no one to blame but himself.

Inuyasha panted and forced a strained question past clenched teeth. "Why… do you… want to stay?"

Sesshoumaru rubbed circles into the hanyou's lower back. His finger pads traced familiar patterns remembered from long ago. Inuyasha wasn't so different from Rin, at least as concerned the placement of musculature and wombs. 

Even if the fact that Inuyasha had one of the latter at all left Sesshoumaru flummoxed.

"I have not been much of a brother to you, Inuyasha, I know, but I am here now. I do not wish to let you face your trials alone again."

Inuyasha watched him, eyes watering from pain. A pair of clear drops rushed down his temple and across the bridge of his nose, and Sesshoumaru brushed them away with a bit of his fur. The tender gesture broke Inuyasha's resistance.

"I just—oh, fuck it. Kami, I must be insane, but fine. Stay if you want."

Sesshoumaru gave him a slight smile and brushed Inuyasha's damp hair off of his brow. "Arigatou."

Inuyasha harrumphed and looked away, but some of that wounded vulnerability had left his eyes, and Sesshoumaru knew he had done right by his little brother, for once. He moved back to give Kazuki access, but left his hand on Inuyasha's hair. The slow, gentle strokes he smoothed over his short crop of silver silk eased the tension from the hanyou's frame and soothed his youki. Good. In this, at least, he could help.

Kazuki frowned at the pair, concerned golden eyes darting between the brothers. "I—my lord, birth is an incredibly raw, gruesome process. Are you certain you want to—"

Sesshoumaru nodded. "I want to stay by his side."

Inuyasha's breath stuttered, and he looked up at Sesshoumaru with an expression caught somewhere between wonder and distrust. 

"I have no reason to lie to you, otouto. And dishonesty is not among my flaws to begin with."

Inuyasha considered it, but eventually conceded the point with a nod. Sesshoumaru resumed his strokes through the hanyou's hair, and Inuyasha pressed against his palm a little—probably an involuntary reaction, but it reassured Sesshoumaru nevertheless.

Kazuki sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "My lord, I must make it clear that any stress upon Inuyasha or the pup now is unacceptable. He is already beyond his limit and cannot be expected to keep the peace in his current state, so the burden will fall upon you, sire. If you are to stay, you _must_ make every effort to prevent further arguments and try to keep him calm."

Sesshoumaru nodded acquiescence.

Kazuki gave him a warm smile. "Then just soothe him how you're able, and I'll take care of the rest." He shook Inuyasha's hand. "Pleasure to meet you at last, Prince Inuyasha. I am Healer Kazuki. I've delivered your father and brother and every infant born in this castle for over a millennium. I'll take good care of you and your little one, I promise."

Inuyasha's posture relaxed a little. "Even—even though I'm a hanyou?"

Kazuki's smile turned sorrowful. "We learned the folly of treating hanyou as unworthy long ago. We're allies against a common enemy now, and we need all the help we can get."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "That's an… _interesting_ point of view for a youkai to have. Especially a youkai in Sesshoumaru's employ."

Kazuki shook his head. "You'd be surprised, but, either way, this isn't the time to worry about it. Are you full-term?"

Inuyasha winced. "No. Six weeks early, by my kit's best approximation."

"Your kit?"

"Shippou. Kitsune healer and technology expert."

"Ah, I'm familiar with him. I didn't realize he was your son. I didn't notice a hint of inu traits in him."

"Not blood. Adopted."

"I see. I'm confused, though. I would have thought Shippou would want to help you through this sooner than sending you out into a blizzard in labor."

Inuyasha nodded. "That was the plan, but we got a message from Hokkaido three days ago requesting emergency help with the northern colony's wards, and he's there trying to save their lives. We thought I had six weeks le— _fuck_." 

Sesshoumaru massaged him through another vicious contraction. "Breathe with me, otouto. Deep breaths."

Inuyasha gasped out, "Breathing ain't gonna help!"

"Your brother is right, Inuyasha," said Kazuki. "Regulating your breathing will help you bear the pain a little and keep you calmer." 

Inuyasha groaned and attempted to match Sesshoumaru's slow, deep breaths. 

"Good. That's it." Kazuki glanced at the clock on the wall above Inuyasha's head and nodded. "Contractions are two minutes apart. You're most likely fully-dilated by now, but it's best to be sure. If you'll help him undress, my lord, I'll check his progress and—"

Inuyasha whimpered. "No! No, you can't! I can't push it out."

Kazuki gave him a sympathetic smile. "Oh, pup, I know it hurts, but it'll be over faster than you know, and then—"

Inuyasha snarled. " _No_. You don't understand. I'm not afraid of pain—that asshat over there has put me through a helluva lot worse than this. I'm telling you I can't push because I don't have the _anatomy_ to!"

"The—the _anatomy_?"

"Yes! I'm alpha, goddamn it!"

Kazuki gasped and reeled back a step. "A-alpha? But—"

"I _know_! I know it's fucking rare and almost no alpha carries successfully, but I'm not a typical alpha, and I had Shippou to—" Inuyasha gasped and shuddered. "Oh, gods."

"Shh." Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's stomach. "Breathe. I will make sure you are taken care of."

Inuyasha whimpered. "I can han— _fuck_."

"Just breathe through it, otouto." Sesshoumaru turned to Kazuki. "He is alpha. I have known for centuries, and I felt our bond surge earlier as confirmation."

Kazuki's eyes widened. "Kami! A true alpha birth? It's been six-hundred ye—"

Inuyasha snapped, "Get with the program already! Kinda in a life-or-death emergency here!"

Kazuki shook himself. "Right. Forgive me. I never imagined—but that isn't important now." His expression turned grim. "Wait here a moment. I need to…." 

He rushed out the door and returned a moment later with a linen sheet folded under his arm. "My lord, undress him immediately. There is no way to birth a pup from a male alpha but through surgery. I will prepare the operating room while you are getting him ready." 

He handed Sesshoumaru the sheet and ran back the way he had come. His urgency left Sesshoumaru with a vague sense of panic in his gut. Damn! He couldn't lose Inuyasha, too.

Sesshoumaru took Inuyasha's hand. "Will you trust me to take care of you, otouto?"

Inuyasha gave him a terse nod and bit back a squeal, his entire body clenched in anguish. "No choice about it. Just hurry."

Sesshoumaru nodded and set about undressing his brother. He started by removing Inuyasha's haori, then opened his kosode and the hadajuban underneath. Inuyasha panted and trembled hard, but did not resist until Sesshoumaru loosened the ties of his hakama. The instant Sesshoumaru's fingers brushed the skin underneath his open hadajuban, Inuyasha flinched and tensed. "Wait, I…." His throat bobbed, then he let out a slow, measured breath. "I-I'm okay now. Go on."

Sesshoumaru rested one hand against Inuyasha's bare, protruding belly. "I will not harm you again, Inuyasha. I have regretted the past since…." He touched his left shoulder. "I did not understand until Rin, and then the war—" A shudder passed through him. "It cost me more than you know, otouto."

Inuyasha winced. "Y-yeah. Me too."

"It wounded us all." Sesshoumaru rubbed gentle circles into Inuyasha's stomach. "You are my only remaining kin, and…." Inuyasha's stomach clenched and shuddered under Sesshoumaru's palm. "Kami. This isn't the time." He massaged Inuyasha's muscles, attempting to ease the ache. "You are safe, otouto. I swear it."

Inuyasha nodded and gasped out, "Just hurry, aniki."

"Yes."

Sesshoumaru loosened the ties and removed Inuyasha's hakama, making every effort to touch him as little as possible. He removed the bottom half of his hadajuban, too, and unwrapped the fundoshi between his thighs. 

The once-white fabric reeked of blood. 

Sesshoumaru grimaced and laid the ruined linen well away from Inuyasha's other clothing. 

"There." He covered the hanyou's hips with the sheet Kazuki had given him and moved to stand by Inuyasha's head. "Now, you are ready." 

A few gentle touches to Inuyasha's fluffy tresses relieved some of the tension in both inu, and Sesshoumaru took a moment to acquaint himself with his brother's much shorter hair while they waited. It flattered Inuyasha's face and framed his ears in a fashion the daiyoukai found adorable, but even so, Sesshoumaru missed the long sheet of silver silk Inuyasha had once possessed. 

"Why have you cut your hair so short, otouto?"

"I had to," Inuyasha muttered. "No barriers outside the royal city. Have to blend with humans. Anything that draws too much—agh—attention could get Shippou and me killed."

Sesshoumaru rubbed one silky ear. "Hn. It is safe here, as long as we stay behind the veil." 

He closed his eyes against a sudden wave of grief. He wished for the millionth time that Homura had not gone with her friends the day the youth of the west had sought the lost youkai. Kami forgive him. He should have realized the girl wouldn't have let her friends face the threat alone. For all her royal upbringing, her inner spirit had reminded him too much of his fiery, loyal little brother. Now, she was gone, too.

He would never be the same without her.

Inuyasha stared up at him, beads of sweat pooling in the furrow between his eyebrows. "Hey. You okay?"

No. Sesshoumaru hadn't been okay since the war began.

"I am more concerned for you."

Inuyasha's eyes traced every plane of Sesshoumaru's face, but no sudden burst of clarity erased the frown from his lips. "Why are you…?" His fingers closed around Sesshoumaru's wrist, a light, trembling touch against his skin. "What the hell is going o—agh, _shit_!"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "We will talk later. Focus on your breathing. Like this." He guided Inuyasha through another bone-crushing contraction with patience despite Inuyasha's sudden death grip on his sword arm. It might bruise a little, but he would heal, and Inuyasha needed him now. Sesshoumaru had endured much worse for much less reward. 

He moved his free hand to stroke Inuyasha's hair and ears, and slowly, the hanyou's body eased.

"I have no idea why you're being so—ugh—helpful, but… arigatou. For not standing back and watching me suffer this time."

Sesshoumaru took the accusation in stride. It was true. 

"I have no intention of abandoning you again, otouto."

Inuyasha's throat bobbed and his eyes welled, but he jerked his face away and scoffed. "Y-yeah right. I'll believe that when I see it."

"As you wish. For the moment, focus on getting your pup here safely. Our problems can wait."

Inuyasha took a shaky breath. "R-right. You're ri—ah, goddamn! Get it _out_ already!"

"As soon as Kazuki returns, we shall." Sesshoumaru wiped the sweat from his brother's brow and blood from his lip where his fangs had pricked the sensitive flesh. "It will be all right, Inuyasha."

"You can't promise that."

"I can try."

Inuyasha's expression eased a little. "Y-yeah. I still don't fucking believe you."

Sesshoumaru smoothed Inuyasha's hair and held his hand. "I know." 

Inuyasha huffed, but he didn't let go of Sesshoumaru's hand or push him away, and that was victory enough for the moment.

"Okay," Kazuki called. "We're ready to go." 

He came in wearing blue surgical robes, a surgeon's cap over his long hair, and a white mask over his mouth and nose. A pair of long, rubber-tipped latex gloves designed for demons with claws poked out of his lapel pocket, still sealed in plastic. "How are you doing, pup?"

"I'm not a goddamn pu—ugh. Ow."

Sesshoumaru rubbed his brother's clenching muscles. "He is in quite a lot of pain. Is there anything you can give him to ease it?"

"We'll be putting him under anesthesia shortly."

"We?" Inuyasha's tone reeked of suspicion.

"He means me, my lord." A young, chestnut-haired oukami dressed in similar gear to Kazuki stepped into the room. She gave a formal bow, if a quick one. "Hello, Emperor Sesshoumaru, Prince Inuyasha. I'm Kazuki's apprentice, Yumi. I'll be helping him with the surgery tonight."

Inuyasha grimaced through the end of his contraction. "No need to pretend to like me. I'm aware of what youkai think of hanyou."

Yumi blinked several times. "I-I…." She turned a blank look on the healer. "I don't understand, Master Kazuki."

Kazuki patted her shoulder. "You're too used to the royal city to understand what it's like beyond the veil. Outside these walls, hanyou are still regarded as inferior beings by most youkai. The emperor changed th—"

Inuyasha scoffed. "Outside these walls? Outside _Sesshoumaru's_ walls, the coldest son-of-a-bitch daiyoukai to ever walk the fucking earth? Bullshit!"

Yumi gasped. "H-hey! You can't say those kind of things about the em—"

Sesshoumaru spoke over her scandalized cry.

"Inuyasha. Yumi is barely two-hundred years old, much too young to recall the demon I was before you, Rin, and this war altered me." He held Inuyasha's hand. "Try to calm yourself, otouto. This is not good for either you or the pup."

Inuyasha jerked back, fear tainting his scent. "I-I don't—why are you all acting like this? Why aren't you flinging insults and—I don't understand. Will everyone just act… _normal_ already, for fuck's sake?" He glanced between the healers and Sesshoumaru, posture tense and claws gripping the sheets. "Kami. I don't get it."

"Otouto." Sesshoumaru cupped Inuyasha's face, and it stunned the hanyou enough to quiet his panicked babbling. "Peace, otouto. You are safe, and your pup needs you now. We will discuss your fears later, once they are born and you are well enough to bear it. Until then, you need to focus on your pup's safety."

Inuyasha swallowed hard and gave a terse, quick nod. 

"Good. Focus on me. Breathe with me. You are safe here."

Inuyasha obeyed, however tentatively. Sesshoumaru let his youki cover Inuyasha's in warmth and comfort. If there was any trust left in his little brother for him, it would soothe him and calm his panicked beast. The alpha in him would respond to his primary beta's desire to protect him and relax— _if_ their bond wasn't too far gone to save.

A brush of warm energy lapped at Sesshoumaru's chest—a lukewarm response from Inuyasha's youki at best, but it was a start. Sesshoumaru murmured soft crooning sounds and continued feeding him calm and energy, and, slowly, Inuyasha's tension eased. By the end of another contraction, he had stopped clawing the sheets and was breathing normally again.

"That's it," Sesshoumaru straightened, but didn't draw back his youki. "Are you calm enough to trust the healers now?"

Inuyasha shuddered. "I—y-yeah. Just…." His fingers curled around Sesshoumaru's. "Please." It came out in a pained whisper.

Sesshoumaru squeezed Inuyasha's hand. "I will not leave you to endure this alone."

"A-arigatou."

Kazuki stepped forward. "Inuyasha, if you're ready, we need to take you to surgery now. Emperor, if you intend to sit with him, you'll need to pin your hair up, wash your face and hands thoroughly, and change into the gear I left in the vestibule for you, sire. You will also need to keep your fur out of the operating room or seal it within you entirely."

Sesshoumaru frowned. "My fur?"

"Yes. It is crucial to keep the operating room as sterile as possible. Birthing and surgery weaken a youkai's resistance to illness, particularly in cesarean births."

Kami. Inuyasha was in more danger than Sesshoumaru had realized. He clutched Inuyasha's hand and offered a silent plea to the fates.

_'Please, don't take him from me, too.'_

He had no idea if the spirits cared to hear the pleas of a daiyoukai—it certainly hadn't saved Homura—but he tried anyway. His heart had too many holes to withstand another loss.

Kazuki bowed to Sesshoumaru. "My lord, I will do everything within my power to see them both through this ordeal safely."

Sesshoumaru took an unsteady breath. "Arigatou." Steeling himself, he stroked Inuyasha's hair and held his cheek. "I must leave you to change, otouto, but I will return as soon as I am able. It is only a moment."

Inuyasha let his hand fall and looked away. "Yeah."

Sesshoumaru swore he would take that tone of distrust from his voice one day. He would start by keeping his word to his brother and staying by his side, this time.

"I will be back soon."

Inuyasha nodded, but didn't meet his eyes. Sesshoumaru sighed and hurried into the surgeon's washroom. In time, perhaps, Inuyasha would believe in him. He hoped so. 

For the moment, they had more pressing concerns. As he removed his suikan and braided his hair around his head, he sent another prayer to the fates. 

_'Kami, guide our hands. Protect us all.'_

Perhaps Rin and Homura would hear his pleas if no one else, or Inuyasha's former packmates. _Someone_ had to, damn it. 

It took more time than he liked to wrestle the massive pile of hair atop his head into the net Kazuki had provided, but Sesshoumaru worked it out eventually, and with that done, he was free to wash up and dress. That took relatively little time, and soon, he was dressed and ready to help. 

Inuyasha couldn't quite conceal the surprise in his eyes when Sesshoumaru returned in surgical garb. Sesshoumaru felt foolish with his hair in a net and his royal robes exchanged for scrubs and latex gloves, but the surge of relief in Inuyasha's youki and expression made the small embarrassment worth the sacrifice to his dignity.

"You came back," Inuyasha muttered as if he hadn't meant to say it at all.

Sesshoumaru sat in the chair Yumi placed beside him. "From now on, otouto, I always will."

Inuyasha scoffed, but he took Sesshoumaru's hand anyway. Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's palm and held onto the hope this one, small touch offered his war-battered soul. They would be okay soon. He wouldn't settle for anything less.


	4. A Deeper Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not doing well, either physically or mentally, so it's difficult to update and such. Thank you for your patience. ❤

#  **Chapter 4**

##  _A Deeper Understanding_

Sesshoumaru sat beside his brother in the recovery area, more than a bit shaken by all he had witnessed over the past two hours. Kazuki had had to cut clear through Inuyasha's abdomen and reach into the hanyou's body up to his elbows. He had to navigate around his intestines, too, and put them back in when the baby accidentally kicked a loop of them out of his abdominal cavity during her birth. It reminded him painfully of the time he had ripped through his brother's stomach, a memory he had tried, desperately, to scrub from his consciousness since the start of the war. Since Rin. Homura.

A small whimper sounded near his chest, and he shook off his dark memories to focus on the present. Grim and bloody as the surgery had been, the result of it awed the daiyoukai. A tiny pup—or should she be called a kitten?—slept in his arms, curled up against his chest and purring in contentment. She was more feline than canine, he thought, with her black-rimmed eyes, leopard markings on her neck and various places of her body, and the rounded ear flaps atop her head, but she had characteristics of the Shiro Inu, too. Snow-white hair, royal blue cheek stripes like her uncle's youkai form, and Sesshoumaru's crescent moon marking, too. A full demon then. A _leopard_ demon. 

He recalled Inuyasha's reaction to Yuki and the suggestion of making quarters for his nonexistent mate, and a terrible thought occurred to Sesshoumaru. He had no idea how an alpha could become pregnant, but with every new detail he discovered about his brother's past and his kitten, he feared the answers more. He stroked Inuyasha's hair with shaking fingers.

"I hope it is not what I begin to think, otouto."

Inuyasha stirred and whimpered. "Ah. Oh. What…? Where am I?" He stiffened. "Shit. Where's the—"

"Here, Inuyasha." 

Sesshoumaru eased the drowsy infant into Inuyasha's arms. The hanyou stared at her, his expression and aura so full of conflicting emotions, Sesshoumaru couldn't pin any of them down. 

"Oh, Kami. You look more like your ojisan than me."

Sesshoumaru's lips curved upward a little. "She did inherit many of the moon clan markings. She has your ears, though. Or a feline version of them."

"Oh. A girl. I didn't know." Inuyasha blinked hard and rubbed the leopard spots on her shoulder. "I'm glad you're a daughter, musume. I would have loved you either way, but it's easier to love you now."

Another point in favor of Sesshoumaru's burgeoning theory. Damn.

Inuyasha examined her fingers and toes and gasped at her retracting claws. "Kami. She's more kitten than pup."

"So it seems, but I assure you, she is your musume-chan."

"Mine…." Inuyasha blinked hard and stroked her tiny head with a shaking hand. "I never thought…."

Sesshoumaru watched his brother acquaint himself with his new daughter with a slight smile on his face. 

"Why isn't she crying? I thought she would be hungry."

"You were in surgery for quite some time after she kicked your intestine loose, and you have been unconscious for at least an hour. We had a choice between letting her feed from a wet nurse or expressing milk from you. As nursing establishes a bond we weren't sure you wanted to encourage, and I feared you might react badly to being touched without consent, I held her and helped her feed from you as best as she could, and Kazuki supplemented her meal with a little broth and cow's milk. It was the only way we could take care of her without potentially assaulting you or bonding her to a stranger."

Inuyasha stared. "You… really did that, for me?"

"I have said I am not the same youkai I was once, have I not?"

Inuyasha frowned and returned his attention to his daughter. "Yeah. Arigatou."

Sesshoumaru inclined his head. "How are you feeling? Kazuki said you would likely be in quite a lot of pain, but, if you are able, you should attempt to feed her before he returns with medicine for you."

Inuyasha winced. " _Can_ I feed her?"

"Hn. Kazuki said you should be able to, and we think she ingested at least some from you earlier, but little is known of alpha births and lactation, so he is unsure. She may need a wet nurse or supplemental feedings, but either way, we will see to it that she receives the nutrients she needs."

Inuyasha frowned and stared at his daughter. "I don't know how much I can do for her. Alphas… we're not built like betas."

Sesshoumaru watched the pup struggle to nurse and had to agree. "I do not think she was able to ingest much from you, but, according to Kazuki, that is normal for the first few days even with many betas and females. You may produce more in time, but if not, there are alternatives to keep her perfectly healthy."

The baby whimpered and gave a weak cry, and Inuyasha shifted her to his chest with some difficulty. "It's just—there's not much for her to latch onto. I don't know if it's going to work."

"I am willing to help however I can."

Inuyasha looked up, eyes wide, then narrowed in intense thought. "Hm. I don't know…."

"Know what?"

"Nothing. Might be moot in a few days anyway."

"As you say." Sesshoumaru watched the infant struggle to feed and ached to help her. If Inuyasha could ever trust him enough—but no. That was absolutely putting the cart before the horse. For the time being, he had best focus on healing the bond between himself and his brother and getting him healthy again. 

"Inuyasha, would you consider staying here from now on? Even with your earring, living among humans is a risk, and if anyone should see you feed her and make certain connections…."

Inuyasha frowned. "They would probably think I'm transexual before they thought of youkai."

"The world is hardly safer for transexuals than it is for youkai, otouto. And not all of them would consider sex changes before demonic heritage."

Inuyasha flinched. "I guess, but…."

Sesshoumaru laid his hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. "You do understand I no longer hate you? That I have wanted you to come home and worried for your safety for centuries?"

Inuyasha scowled. "For all the effort you put into finding me."

"Recall I do not have your ability to conceal either my youki or my appearance. Leaving these walls would have put both myself and my kingdom in terrible danger." 

Sesshoumaru sighed and stroked Inuyasha's ear lightly. The hanyou made a soft sound of enjoyment, but didn't relax. 

"That said, I _did_ leave as often as I feasibly could. I never stopped searching for you, Inuyasha, but I never found you. You are quite good at disappearing when you want to."

Inuyasha's expression softened a little. "Yeah. Guess that's fair. You'd have had to be right on top of me to find me, even with your nose. I've been living in underground dwellings in the mountains for the past century, a new one every time humans come too close, and Shippou and I developed all sorts of technology to keep our homes and others like it hidden from taijiya. The flip side is that it hides the dwellings from other youkai, too, so you couldn't have found me, I don't think." 

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and took an unsteady breath. "So, if not for the circumstances that forced you to seek me out during your labor, I might never have seen you again."

"Tch. And we're just going to pretend you wanted to?"

"It is the truth."

"Bull! If you cared about me at all, you wouldn't have…." Inuyasha huffed and looked away. "Doesn't matter. Can't stay where I'm not safe anyway."

"You are safe here."

"I'm a goddamn hanyou! Your healer and apprentice healer might be batshit weirdos, but don't expect me to believe the entire city has up and changed its mind about us."

"That is precisely what happened, yes."

Inuyasha snarled, " _Why_? Why would an entire city—"

Despite his growing frustration, Sesshoumaru kept his tone placid and his youki quiet for the baby's sake. "Because that is the law I set in place nearly four centuries ago, Inuyasha. No one who clung to the old prejudices was allowed to stay, and even now, I punish cruelty against hanyou severely."

"You really expect me to believe that shit? You _really_ think, even for a second, I—" The kitten whimpered and mewled, and Inuyasha moderated his tone. "You really expect me to believe—you, of all people—"

Sesshoumaru held his gaze. "Yes. I do."

"Bullshit."

"Inuyasha. Just as your mother was the human-born lover of a daiyoukai, so, too, was _my mate_."

Inuyasha sucked in a sharp breath, eyes wide and staring. "Oh fuck. Your kids. If you hadn't changed the law…."

"My pups would have been targeted, too, yes, but I had changed before the law did." Sesshoumaru took Inuyasha's hand and rubbed his palm. "Whether you believe me or not, you shook the core of me. You, Rin, and—" He closed his eyes and swallowed her name. "Y-you taught me lessons I have never forgotten. And I, in turn, taught them to my subjects."

"But then why…?" 

"For you, otouto. For—"

Inuyasha's youki shuddered and writhed, and his eyes glowed. "Bastard. Utter fucking _bastard_!"

The baby let go and gave a frightened squall.

"Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru hissed and caught the hanyou's shoulders. "Whatever you think of me, calm yourself for your musume-chan's sake. Your miko is no longer able to bring you back from the brink, and your sword was not on your person. I have no way to calm you, otouto."

The hanyou took a steadying breath and forced his youki back under control. "Get off. Don't _touch_ me."

Sesshoumaru let his hands fall away and turned to hide the sharp hurt in his chest. Had he imagined Inuyasha would be pleased with his efforts once? Clearly, he had been wrong. 

With a terse nod, he stood and moved to the door.

Inuyasha shushed his baby and apologized to her, but as soon as Sesshoumaru's hand touched the doorknob, his tone changed.

"Should have known you'd run out on me the minute things got rough between us. Tch. Coward." He resumed calming his daughter as if it hardly mattered, but Sesshoumaru sensed the pain hidden under layers of rage and resentment.

Sesshoumaru let his hand fall. Damn. He had only thought to leave for the baby's sake, but perhaps Inuyasha had the right of it, too. Was he running away?

It didn't matter. He had promised to stay by Inuyasha's side, and he would do it.

With a sigh, he returned to his seat. "I will stay on the condition that you either wait until the little one is asleep to continue this conversation, or you swear to me that you will control your anger for your kitten's sake. I will not see her hurt for my mistakes."

Inuyasha nodded tersely. "You're right, about that at least. I want answers, but I'll keep it together from now on. It's not her fault."

"No." Sesshoumaru waited until the infant calmed and resumed attempting to nurse before he spoke again. "Now that she is well, will you explain what is so terrible about trying to give hanyou a safe haven and an equal footing among youkai?"

"It's not that. It's the fact that you dared to tell me you did it for _me_." Inuyasha kept his voice low and calm, but his eyes were cold. "You hated me right up until So'unga, and everything I thought you felt after that—well, you showed me how much it meant to you two-hundred years ago."

Sesshoumaru frowned. "Two-hundred—the Battle of the Veil?" He suppressed a shudder, but couldn't keep his voice from hitching.

The day he had lost everything that mattered, everything but a few loyal warriors and his throne.

"Yeah. That would be it."

Sesshoumaru swallowed a rush of cold guilt and pain as sharp as a demon sword. "W-why? Did we not—not fight side by side that day? I do—do not understand your anger." He forced back a whimper as the memories drowned him. Memories he had tried his hardest to forget.

At least until the nightmares dropped him into the worst of his regrets with no mercy.

Inuyasha paused. "Sesshoumaru? You okay?"

No. Kami, no.

Sesshoumaru didn't dare open his eyes. "I will survive." But Homura….

For a moment, he heard nothing beyond the sound of the infant's struggles to nurse.

"Maybe I should bring this up later."

Oh, gods, no.

"I would prefer to put it behind us now." His voice wavered, and Sesshoumaru gripped the arm of his chair for ballast. He had to calm himself before his youki disturbed the infant again. She would have trouble nursing if she began to associate the act with fear and trauma.

"Shit." Inuyasha hesitated, then a warm palm slid against Sesshoumaru's own. "Aniki, obviously I don't have the whole story. I'm going to finish feeding her, then we'll talk, okay?"

"V-very well." 

Inuyasha's fingers edged back, but Sesshoumaru caught them before that lifeline of affection left him altogether. 

"Please."

Inuyasha gasped. " _Kami_. It's _that_ bad?" 

Sesshoumaru gave a terse nod. 

"Damn." Inuyasha rubbed Sesshoumaru's knuckles. "Okay. I'm right here."

Sesshoumaru nodded and held on for dear life. 

A short while later, the infant pulled back with a mewl. 

"Damn. She didn't get enough."

Sesshoumaru stood and blinked back his lingering grief. "Kazuki left a few bottles in the nursery for her. I will retrieve one. One moment."

Inuyasha nodded and watched him leave with a troubled expression. Sesshoumaru wouldn't meet his eyes. At the moment, his brother's fiery temper and eyes like the summer sun reminded him too much of what he had lost.

_'Homura… Kami, forgive me.'_

With a shudder and a soft whimper he failed to repress, Sesshoumaru forced his memories back and made his way to the nursery.

* * *

Inuyasha patted his kitten's back and stared at the place his brother had stood just moments ago. He had missed something crucial that day, no doubt about it. In six-hundred years, he had never seen Sesshoumaru as close to tears as the mere mention of the battle had brought him. He had never dreamed the proud daiyoukai would stagger over his words or cling to Inuyasha's hand as if he would shatter without his touch to ground him, but damned if Inuyasha hadn't just lived it. 

Gods. What had happened to Sesshoumaru that awful day? Sesshoumaru had left him behind that day, but had it stemmed from disgust and hatred as he had believed all these years, or had there been some deeper reason behind his abandonment? 

Homura—Sesshoumaru had been searching for her that day. Had it been for her sake? Who _was_ she?

And if it was her loss that had broken Sesshoumaru, what did that mean for them?

Sesshoumaru returned with another female healer's apprentice in tow, this one a panda youkai judging by her scent and the white streaks in her hair on either side. Chinese then, probably. She wore a red shift dress, a lab coat with red trim, and a red scarf over her coal-black bun. 

She bowed and gave him a bright smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes. "Konnichiwa, Prince Inuyasha. I am Sora, Healer Kazuki's apprentice."

Sora? Not Chinese then. Or not born in China, at least. 

The youkai handed him a bottle of pinkish liquid. "Here's a bottle for your little one. Do you mind if I have a look at her while she's eating?"

Inuyasha shook his head and took the bottle. "So long as it doesn't upset her."

"No, I only want to check her youki levels and make sure she's healing well from the birth."

"Yeah, all right." 

He sniffed and tested the liquid in the bottle more out of curiosity than mistrust, but years of hard experience had taught him to be cautious, too. Hm. Tasted a bit like creamy, watered-down broth. It would do, he supposed.

He cradled the whimpering kitten against his chest and nudged the nipple into her mouth. She took it with a little mewl and started nursing right away. 

A collective sigh of relief sounded from the three adults present. 

"She's taking her bottle well, I see," said Sora. "That's good."

"Yeah, but…." Inuyasha watched her check the baby's feet and hands with a frown. "I thought Yumi was Kazuki's apprentice."

"Yes, his second apprentice. She's still very early in her training. She's quite capable of assisting during surgery and performing routine follow-ups for common ailments and such, but alpha births are hardly common. I'm nearly out of training, so Healer Kazuki asked me to check in on the little one while he's busy with appointments and because he thought you might be more comfortable with me. He'll be by after lunch to make sure you're both doing well."

Inuyasha nodded, but kept his eyes on the youkai. "Wouldn't it have been better to have a more experienced healer on hand last night?"

"Yes, it would have, but it was my day off and too emergent a situation to call for me in time to save you." 

"Oh." That made sense, he supposed, but…. "Okay, but why exactly did Kazuki think I'd be more comfortable with you?"

Sora chuckled. "Ah, forgot my scarf." She removed the silk from her hair, and Inuyasha stilled. Panda ears. 

A hanyou. 

A hanyou apprentice to a youkai healer. 

A hanyou working in a place of high skill and respect _in_ _Sesshoumaru's kingdom_.

"Oh." Inuyasha blinked hard. "You're…."

"A hanyou, yes. And before the laws changed here, I lived like you. Rough and on my own. But Healer Kazuki had hated the laws for years, since you were born, actually. He's been the royal healer for a thousand years, but he never even got to meet you because it wasn't safe for hanyou here. That changed him. And you—well, it isn't my place to say, but…." She smiled and bowed to the emperor. 

Sesshoumaru patted her shoulder. "You are correct, Sora. Inuyasha taught me much, as I said when I changed the laws."

Her eyes welled. "I-I remember, sire. I was listening from the trees, and that moment—everything changed for me, too. I didn't believe at first, but you kept to your word, my lord, and now, Kami. I'm nearly a healer of my own right and have as much respect as Kazuki. A-arigatou, my lord. You gave my people hope."

She bowed again, but Sesshoumaru patted her shoulder and guided her to stand again. "I am in your domain now, Sora. There is no need for such formality at the moment."

Sora covered her face. "A-arigatou, sire."

Sesshoumaru moved to the door. "I will give you a moment, yes?"

She smiled through the tears on her face. "Hai, my lord."

Sesshoumaru inclined his head. "Inuyasha, I will be in the hall if you need me."

Inuyasha nodded, dazed at everything he had just seen. Kami. Had the blizzard led him to some kind of alternate world? Shippou talked about the theory of parallel universes or something like that sometimes. Had he landed in one somehow?

No. That was silly. This was the real Japan and the real Sesshoumaru, just not the versions of them he remembered.

Inuyasha glanced to the healer and steeled his resolve. This was his chance. He needed answers, and with an outsider there, one who knew what his life meant, he might just have the means to get the truth. Some of it, at least. 

He waited until the door closed behind his brother, then pressed a hidden button on his earring. "Keyword: _silent as the grave_." 

A field of energy—it would register as Inuyasha's youki to his brother's sensitive nose—surrounded them in a bubble of white light. 

Sora jumped back and whipped out a dagger. "What is the meaning of this?"

 _'Hanyou trained reflexes,'_ Inuyasha thought. She really had lived rough to react that quickly.

"Easy!" He held up one hand in a calming gesture. "It won't hurt you. It's just a youki-electromagnetic field used to muffle sound. I just wanted a second to talk to you where my oniisan can't hear."

The healer nodded, though her posture was still wary.

"Sora, this kitten is all I've got besides my son. I wouldn't put her in danger. And I can't defend myself at the moment either."

She relaxed slightly. "Ah, all right, but keep in mind that I can't jeopardize my position. It means too much to me."

"Yeah. Trust me, I understand. All I want to know—is he for real? All of this—Sora, he once slammed his poison claws into my gut and tore me open all the way through. He damn near killed me just because I'm a hanyou and Chichiue died to save me. I'm having a hard time buying this… soft side of him."

She nodded. "I remember how the emperor used to be, but I watched him change when he fell in love with a human girl—and when his hanyou otouto-san taught him that we aren't weak." She replaced her dagger in a hidden sheath under her skirt. "It's real, Inuyasha-sama. It took many years for him to grow into the compassionate ruler he's become, but you can trust him now, and that's not just my sense of self-preservation talking. I trust him with all of my heart, even knowing where he came from. I owe him so much, more than I could ever hope to repay."

Inuyasha took a shaky breath. "Kami. It's so hard to believe." But he had seen her gratitude for himself. She hadn't faked it, of that he was certain. "You're really happy here? It's honestly safe for us? For my kid?"

Sora smiled. "Both of them, yes. Even though your son is more human than demon."

Inuyasha took a shaky breath. "No. Shippou's not Kagome's. We—we couldn't. He's a full kitsune, a healer, too. I just raised him."

She bowed in apology. "Ah, forgive my assumption. It's still true, however. Your young ones are both safe here, as are you. There are dissenters in the city, of course—nowhere is perfectly free of crime—but the emperor deals with them harshly. Anyone who threatens his subjects' safety or wellbeing, no matter their origin or bloodline, is punished publicly and evicted from the city. No one has dared challenge that law for three-hundred years."

Inuyasha nodded and stared at his lap. "Kami. I… haven't been fair to him, have I?"

Her smile was gentle. "There is always time to make amends."

Inuyasha swallowed a rush of emotion. Amends. He could finally heal the breach with his brother. By all rights, it sounded as though Sesshoumaru had been trying to heal it all this time. The thought left him raw and feeling as though someone had just yanked the ground out from under his feet. 

At the same time, some part of him that had never stopped bleeding closed its wounds. A tiny seed of hope took root on the ashes of bitter resentment, and Inuyasha didn't brush it away, didn't sweep it aside and lock his heart away where no one could hurt him again.

If Sesshoumaru honestly wanted to start fresh, well, Inuyasha would try, too.

He released the silencing field and squeezed Sora's hand. "Arigatou."

Her eyelids crinkled with true happiness. "My pleasure, Prince Inuyasha."

Inuyasha nodded and let her get on with her examination.


	5. Shadows of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rough chapter incoming.

#  **Chapter 5**

##  _Shadows of the Past_

Sesshoumaru returned to his brother's room after Sora left and sat beside the bed. "Are you healing well?"

Inuyasha frowned. "I—Sora isn't sure. I'm still bleeding, so she wants Kazuki to make that call."

Sesshoumaru stared out the window. If only Inuyasha could trust him, he would help. 

"Um, aniki?" Inuyasha's voice was soft and uncertain. "Sora told me things. About the kingdom and you. And, well, maybe I've been too hard on you."

Sesshoumaru's heart pattered. "Inuyasha?"

"I'm sorry, aniki. I shouldn't have been so harsh."

Sesshoumaru swallowed a rush of emotion. "You had a right to be. I was cruel."

"Yeah, but you changed a long time ago." Inuyasha shifted the baby to sleep against his shoulder and reached across the bed. Sesshoumaru hardly dared to believe he meant it the way it appeared.

"Come on, aniki. It's okay."

Sesshoumaru crossed the gulf between them and took Inuyasha's hand. Inuyasha gave him a hesitant smile and rubbed the backs of his claws. 

"Be gentle with those, all right? Beta or no, you could kick my ass even with me at full strength." 

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes against a sudden swell of emotion. Inuyasha was offering him a second chance. He had waited so long. 

"I will not hurt you again."

Inuyasha squeezed his hand. "Good. I won't come after you either." 

Sesshoumaru traced the back of Inuyasha's hand. "I am glad you came to me last night." 

_'I am glad you came home.'_

Inuyasha spoke in a soft tone edged with pain and uncertainty. "If I had known you wanted me to, I would have come sooner."

Sesshoumaru rested his head on Inuyasha's shoulder. "I missed you. I have been alone so long. You are my only family now."

Gentle claws brushed through Sesshoumaru's hair. "I thought you'd have kids. Rin adored you, and hanyou live as long as youkai, but then, I couldn't have them with Kagome either."

Sesshoumaru's breath stilled. His heart stuttered, and a blast of grief blindsided him, still so raw two centuries after the fact. He couldn't hold back a quiet whimper.

"Shit! Aniki? I— _shit_!" Inuyasha held the daiyoukai's head against his shoulder, all the comfort he had the strength to offer just then. "Kami, Sesshoumaru. What's wrong? What did I say?"

Sesshoumaru sought Inuyasha's hand and clung to his fingers, his only anchor in the midst of memories darker than shadows in the moonless night. 

"Rin… was human. Giving birth to my pup nearly killed her. We only had one, a daughter." Sesshoumaru whimpered again. "A beautiful girl, with a fiery temper, fierce loyalty to her family, and a soft spot for humans. A warrior at heart, but also kind like her mother. She didn't inherit my temperament at all."

"She sounds like me, actually." Inuyasha gave him a hesitant smile. "What's her name?"

Sesshoumaru breathed in and out, slow and deep to mitigate the pain. He hadn't spoken of her outside of nightmares in fifty years. Even now, he could only whisper her name.

"H-Homura."

Inuyasha's breath hitched. "Homura? Oh, gods, aniki, _that_ Homura?"

Sesshoumaru dropped his head. "I failed her."

"Shit. _Shit_! That was why you ran that day. Your musume-chan—fuck, Sesshoumaru! What happened?"

Sesshoumaru shuddered. "I… will try to explain, but I must start further back, before the battle." He breathed in his alpha's scent and the baby's sweet smell and let his pack's presence soothe his troubled soul. "As you know, the humans had discovered guns by then. You know what it was like in those days, youkai dropping left and right. Nowhere was safe. Not even here."

Inuyasha shuddered. "Kami, yes. It was a nightmare."

"Yes. My scouts reported an imminent attack a week before the Battle of the Veil. The human armies had heard of my position and wanted to eliminate me in hopes of breaking demonic morale. I would have faced them, but their army…."

Inuyasha grimaced. "I remember. It was massive. They would've killed you for sure, and your people would've been lost."

"Yes. So, instead of challenging them directly, I met with my advisors in search of a way to keep the city safe. As humans had little power over magic, we decided to combine youki and magical power to create the veil. It is anchored to my mother's meidou stone. She was the primary sorceress responsible for the wards, but it stripped her power. She—she gave her life for me, and without the Meidou stone…."

Inuyasha's fingers clenched around Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "Fuck. She didn't come back."

"No. And, as her sacrifice was the price of the wards' power, she did not allow me to revive her either."

Inuyasha blinked hard. "Oh, gods. She died for you. And all this time, I thought…."

"Like me, Hahaue kept her heart hidden. She acted callous and cold as a defense, and she had no love lost on humans or hanyou, but when it came to her son, to the granddaughter she adored despite her bloodline, she was willing to give everything for our sake."

Inuyasha clung to Sesshoumaru's hand. "Damn. I'm sorry, aniki."

Sesshoumaru pressed his head into Inuyasha's shoulder. "It was… strange. I have never had much of a bond with Hahaue. Aiko, my personal servant, was always more of a mother to me, at least until that moment. To know Hahaue loved me enough to die for me—even now, I…."

"Maybe Chichiue taught her what it means," Inuyasha murmured, his voice soft and sad. 

Sesshoumaru nodded. "We have been fortunate, I think, to have parents who loved us so completely."

Inuyasha held his baby closer. "I—I think I understand."

Sesshoumaru nudged his face against Inuyasha's throat, an instinctive touch to comfort them both. Inuyasha tilted his head back to allow it, and the warmth of his acceptance, of knowing Sesshoumaru still had a place in his pack, eased the stark pain in the daiyoukai's broken heart. Inuyasha wrapped his arm around Sesshoumaru's waist instead and rubbed his side. 

"Arigatou," Sesshoumaru murmured. 

Inuyasha nuzzled his hair a little. "I'm here, aniki. Can you go on?"

"Yes." Sesshoumaru clung to Inuyasha's haori and gathered his wits. "After Hahaue used the last of her youki and lifeforce to power the wards, the veil covered the city, and I thought we would be safe. I mourned my mother with Homura, buried her in the tomb of the queen of the west, and went to bed. As the casting had drained much of my power, too, I slept soundly despite the turmoil on my heart—too soundly. I did not feel the wards shift."

Inuyasha held him tighter. 

"At dawn, Aiko woke me in a fright. One of my advisors had seen several of our warriors leaving the city in full battle armor, and Homura was leading the charge. Hoshi tried to turn them back, but they were determined, and so he came here to warn me."

Sesshoumaru's voice wavered. "Homura had heard that there was a group of youkai trapped beyond the barrier, and she wanted to rescue them before the troops arrived, but it was a trap for _us_. Instead of youkai, they found a contingent of the human armies at the end of that road, hidden under the skins of slain youkai to mask their scent."

"Fuck," Inuyasha choked out. "It's as twisted as…."

"Yes. For all that they claim to be the honorable side, humans can be quite as ruthless as the cruellest youkai."

Inuyasha set the baby on the bed, placed pillows on either side of her in case she rolled, and hugged his brother in both arms. "Okay. Go on, aniki."

Sesshoumaru shuddered. "Yes. My chief spy at the time—she did not survive the battle—warned us of overhearing news of such a plot mere minutes after Hoshi gave me his message, and I knew then what the enemy had done. They wanted me dead, yes, but also my heir. I gathered my warriors and set out after them immediately."

He closed his eyes, and the memories of that horrible day washed over him anew. 

* * *

_200 years earlier:_

Two days of battle, and Sesshoumaru had seen no sign of Homura. So many of her friends would never return, but Homura—no. She had to survive. She reminded him so much of his scrappy little brother, and nothing had ever managed to finish Inuyasha. Homura had to be there, somewhere.

A blast of thunder, a smell of smoke, and a sharp sting in his shoulder warned him that he was running out of time and strength. 

Kami. He couldn't give up on her. He tied a length of his fur around the wound and kept going. 

He stepped into an ambush. Thunder cracked the sky all around, smoke and fire and sparks erupted everywhere, and every part of him bled. He hadn't enough spare fur to seal so many wounds. Damn! Their guns might as well be mosquitoes in his true form, but even small wounds could overwhelm him if too many hit at once.

"Hey! Pick on someone your own size, runts! _Kongousouha_!"

Sesshoumaru lifted his head in time to see an explosion of diamond-shaped blades blast the humans back and destroy every enemy for a hundred yards. Kami! He had avoided wide-scale attacks for a reason, but in that moment, he knew he owed his life to his brother.

He groaned and dropped to his knees. His sealed form took over, and Sesshoumaru whined at the pain of a thousand wounds. Inuyasha caught him before he could fall and heaved him to his feet. 

"I've got you. Kami, you're a mess. Damn!"

Sesshoumaru whimpered and pressed his head into Inuyasha's shoulder. "Too… injured…."

"Hold on!" The kitsune kit, now a grown youkai with a mate of his own, rushed in to help. "Lay him here, Otousan. I'll do what I can for him while you hold them off."

"All right, kid." Inuyasha eased his brother to the ground and stood over them, sword drawn and glowing red in the light of the setting sun. Or that might have been blood.

Sesshoumaru gasped out, "No more… large-scale attacks… unless you must. Homura… missing."

Inuyasha frowned. "Who's Homura?"

"My…." Sesshoumaru's voice cut off at a powerful surge of healing magic. Sealing so many wounds _hurt_ , damn it.

"Never mind. Just take it easy, aniki. I'll guard you. And this Homura, whoever she is."

_'You should have known sooner, otouto.'_

"Forgive me," Sesshoumaru gasped, but he fell unconscious before he had the chance to see Inuyasha's reaction.

* * *

By the time he woke, the humans had come back, and Inuyasha was struggling to fight such a massive army alone. Sesshoumaru regained his feet just in time to see a cannonball catch Inuyasha in the stomach and send him flying into a tree.

"No!"

Sesshoumaru pitched the dazed kitsune over one shoulder and raced to his brother's side, a terrified Shippou in tow, pain and weakness forgotten in a primal rush of fear. _'Inuyasha!'_ The humans wasted precious moments to cheer their successes and taunt the demons' losses—it would be their downfall, but only if Sesshoumaru reached his brother in time. 

He gripped Tensaiga, ready to revive his otouto if necessary, but Inuyasha was still breathing. Somehow.

A burst of half-manic laughter escaped the daiyoukai. "Kami, otouto. You truly can survive everything the world throws at you, can't you? Even cannonballs." With a laugh that might have been a sob in any other youkai, he set Shippou on the ground and struggled to breathe. Gods. He was in terrible shape, but he would have to pull himself together regardless. His pack needed him.

In the distance, a sharp cry pierced the night and the sky glowed red as blood. 

_Mrowww!_

Kirara. The fire neko was trying to buy them time. He thanked her silently, patted the shaking kitsune's shoulder, and knelt beside his brother.

"I am here, otouto."

The hanyou had managed to stay conscious, but he was losing the battle fast. "'Shoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru cupped his hand around Inuyasha's cheek. "Hold on. It is my turn to save you."

Inuyasha whined in pain, and Sesshoumaru left off comforting him in order to save his brother's life. He tore open the hanyou's haori and kosode and reeled at the damage. 

Inuyasha's entire stomach had already turned black. 

Internal bleeding. Damn. Sesshoumaru might need Tensaiga after all.

He swallowed a retch and forced himself steady. He couldn't lose it now. Inuyasha had survived worse, yes—and at Sesshoumaru's hand—but, Kami, this was bad.

Green light glowed on his left and sputtered. Shippou whimpered. "Oh, gods. I-I don't have much left. I can't save him fast enough, not from _this_."

"Peace. I will help."

Sesshoumaru bent to the now-unconscious hanyou's stomach and licked his bruised, swollen belly. With Sesshoumaru's youki already so close to the surface, it did not take much effort to work healing into his brother's skin. Thank the Kami, too, because Sesshoumaru had no power to spare.

He had half expected the kitsune to protest his form of treatment, but either the shock had rendered him speechless, or he knew damn well not to interfere with a primary beta healing their alpha. 

Beta and alpha. This was the reason—or part of it anyway—that Sesshoumaru had fought his brother so long. The idea of playing the submissive to a weaker being, to a hanyou, had repulsed him, but Inuyasha had never asked his submission, and he had proved his worth as an alpha and ally long ago. The idea no longer rankled, but even if Sesshoumaru hadn't accepted his role and his brother's place in his life, what good would rejecting their bond do now? 

He _needed_ his brother. The humans outnumbered the youkai a thousand to one, and they were only gaining power as more and more of Sesshoumaru's allies succumbed. They needed to end this, and he couldn't do it alone.

If only he could find Homura, he would join forces with Inuyasha as they had done so long ago and wipe the threat out, but not until he knew she was safely out of harm's way. Not until—

Inuyasha groaned and opened his eyes. "Anyone get the number of that truck?"

Sesshoumaru stared. "Truck?"

"Never mind." Inuyasha rubbed his stomach, now back to reddish-pink with spots of purple and yellow. "Fucking _ow_. What asshole had the bright idea to make their bullets _bigger_?"

"Only you could take a cannonball to the gut and live to complain about it." Sesshoumaru hauled him up. "Are you well?"

"Ghn. 'Well' is stretching it, but I ain't dying anymore." He frowned up at his brother, pain-dazed eyes clouded in confusion. "How'd you save me?"

Sesshoumaru looked away. "It… isn't the time for that discussion."

"Did I die? Did you have to use—"

"No."

"Oh. But then—"

"I helped him," the kitsune said with a knowing look at the daiyoukai. "Obviously."

Sesshoumaru nodded in thanks. He would tell Inuyasha one day, but right now, they hadn't the time for the explanations it would require. The humans were still fighting Kirara, but she would tire or fall soon. They needed to move quickly.

"Oh. Right. Arigatou, musuko-kun." Inuyasha kissed Shippou's forehead. "I'm glad you're okay." He took Sesshoumaru's hand. "You too, aniki. Couldn't do this without either of you."

He didn't realize how true his statement was. 

Sesshoumaru squeezed Inuyasha's hand. "We mustn't waste time. Are you able to stand?"

"Maybe." 

"Let me help, Otousan." Shippou pulled his surrogate father to his feet and braced him at his waist. "There. Are you all right?"

"I'll survive," Inuyasha gasped out. "Kami, that really did a number on me."

Sesshoumaru braced his other side. "Better?"

"Yeah." Inuyasha leaned on Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "You okay, aniki?"

Sesshoumaru shuddered. "As you said, I will survive." Maybe.

Inuyasha gave him a grim look. "Yeah. Aniki, we've _got_ to end this. They're slaughtering us all."

"I—you are right, but Homura…."

"Is she more important than your entire kingdom, Sesshoumaru? Because that's the choice we've got. Her or everyone, and the reality is she might already be—"

"Don't," Sesshoumaru breathed. "Don't say those words."

"Fine, but you know it's true. And, either way, we can't keep up these small attacks against an army this size and live."

"I cannot abandon her."

Shippou turned his wrist in the moonlight, where a flash of a mating bracelet glinted under his yukata sleeve. "I understand. Can you scent her though? Even a hint?"

"If I could, I—wait." Sesshoumaru sniffed and froze. Was that the smell of sakura on the breeze? In autumn? "Oh, Kami! I do. Yes, only a trace, but she is this way." He turned to the east after her trail, but Inuyasha grabbed his collar and hauled him back, an impressive feat considering his condition. 

"Wait! Deal with the army first, or they might kill us all on the way! Her, too."

Sesshoumaru hesitated. His every instinct screamed for him to hurry, but Inuyasha was right. He couldn't afford to lose his head now, and Kirara had bought them these precious moments at the risk of her life. He couldn't waste this chance to end this once and for all and make his people safe again, Homura included.

"Y-yes." He took a steadying breath. "Then, are you well enough to end this now?"

Inuyasha gave him a grim nod. "The Meidou?"

"Yes. You open the path to hell. I will send them beyond."

"I'll help!" Shippou kissed Inuyasha's cheek. "Get your strength together. I'll set up a distraction and find a good vantage point while you're building your youki."

"You had better not get yourself killed, brat." Inuyasha ruffled the kitsune's hair. "I'll make aniki bring you back and thump you straight into the next era!"

Shippou grinned. "If you can catch me, old man!"

"Hey!"

Shippou chuckled. "I know, Otousan. I'll be okay. Just hurry. Kirara's running out of strength."

"Yeah. Be careful."

"I promise."

"Good luck, kit," Sesshoumaru murmured.

Shippou bowed and ran into the night.

"Well, it's you and me again, yeah, aniki? Just like old times."

Sesshoumaru snorted. "Not quite." He drew Tensaiga, knuckles white around the hilt. "Ready?"

Inuyasha dragged Tessaiga out and took a shaky breath. "This is going to take all I've got. Don't leave me alone."

"Yes."

Inuyasha nodded and breathed in deeply a few times. "Wait for Shippou's signal."

Sesshoumaru winced. "There is little time."

"It won't be—" A flash of silver stars burst into being a few yards ahead. "Long. There. That's the best spot to work from."

"Shippou can tell this?"

"Yeah. He's not a kid anymore."

Sesshoumaru conceded the point and led his brother to the place the stars indicated. A hilltop shaded by trees. From their position, they could see every soul in the humans' army, but the humans wouldn't see them until it was too late. 

"Hn. This will do."

Inuyasha grinned. "Damn right it will." His mirth turned to grim resolution. "Right. Let's send the bastards beyond, aniki. One… two…." He raised Tessaiga above his head. "Three! _Meidou Zangetsuha_!"

Tessaiga turned black and opened a great maw between the realms. 

" _Soryūha_!"

A dragon of lightning turned the sky blue and swallowed the screams of the enemy. 

The earth rocked, lightning flashed, thunder roared, and then, all was still. Two-thirds of the human armies had fallen beyond, and the survivors called a retreat. They had won.

But at what cost?

Sesshoumaru turned back towards Homura's scent. With so many of their enemies wiped out and far fewer competing scents to confuse his senses, he received more information from the whiff he had caught a moment ago. Hints of rain, his own lightning-sharp youki, and the flowers her mother had loved. It was absolutely Homura, but….

But her scent was cold. And so was the massive taint of blood the army's presence had hidden until now. So much blood.

No one could survive that kind of damage.

"H-Homura?" 

No. Oh, Kami! _No_!

Everything in him screamed a denial. He raced after her scent, utterly lost to everything but the gaping maw in his heart where his daughter used to be.

"A-aniki? Wait! Don't leave m—"

Inuyasha's cry faded into the wind and the screaming inside Sesshoumaru's soul.

* * *

Inuyasha watched his brother's composure break more and more with every word from his mouth and reeled in silent horror. Sesshoumaru had never shed a tear in his presence, but this story had him close to breaking down entirely. Inuyasha's instincts screamed at him to stop this nightmare, to soothe his packmate and beta, but _Kami_. Sesshoumaru. _Crying_. The sight damn near paralyzed him.

"And—and when the Meidou cleared, I could scent her clearly. Before, the armies had blocked most of her trail, but then, I caught the full force of it, and…." A whine of anguish ripped itself from Sesshoumaru's throat. 

"Oh, Kami. Her scent—that was why you left me there. She was dead?"

Sesshoumaru whimpered, and Inuyasha rubbed his hair and back. 

"I was too late. Not even Tensaiga…."

Inuyasha shuddered. "Oh, gods. Your little girl. That's why—I thought you'd abandoned me, but you were out of your head with grief."

"I-I came back for you," Sesshoumaru whispered. "For you and Shippou. As soon as I could think beyond the pain, I came back, but you were already gone, and the humans had covered your scent."

"They attacked maybe half a minute after you left," Inuyasha said, voice unsteady. "I couldn't have waited for you even if I hadn't gotten the wrong idea. There were enemies on every side, and we were all spent. We had no choice but to use one of Shippou's tricks to confuse the humans and escape in the aftermath. Kirara got us the hell out of there, and we've stayed hidden ever since, or at least as much as we could. Not even our contractors know who we really are. Well, Shippou uses his real identity in healer circles, but we figured it was best to keep our tech business secret and keep me hidden. If they came for you…."

"They might target the prince as well. You were wise to hide yourself for so long, and you have done well to accomplish so much alone. I am proud of you both."

Inuyasha's breath hitched. "Aniki, you mean that?"

"Yes. I have learned not to keep my heart silent, otouto. So many I loved, gone from my life without ever knowing—no. What does my pride mean when everyone I ever loved is gone but you? I have never been the same after the battle, otouto, and I never will be again."

Inuyasha shuddered and nuzzled Sesshoumaru's hair. "Y-yeah. Yeah, that fucks you up on a level it's impossible to recover from."

Sesshoumaru gasped. "Inuyasha, you have…?"

"Not me—not like that. Shippou. His mate was killed in the first surge of the War of Exile, about three months after the Battle of the Veil. And a group of slayers killed his kit a few years later while we were sleeping. Kazo was just five years old. Fell to me to put Shippou back together after losing everything."

"Gods. I didn't realize…."

"We've all been through hell and back, aniki." Inunyasha buried his face in Sesshoumaru's hair. "That was when I started working on stealth technology with Shippou, so no one else we loved would be murdered for nothing more than the way they were born." He sniffled. "I-I never got to meet my own niece."

Sesshoumaru nuzzled Inuyasha's shoulder and under his chin. "You would have loved her. She was so very much like you. Ears and all."

"And my little girl looks more like you than me." Inuyasha gave a tear-thick laugh. "Maybe the fates are trying to tell us something, yeah?"

Sesshoumaru caressed the baby's head. "They brought you back to me."

"Y-yeah. It _would_ take an act of the gods to fix us."

Sesshoumaru's smile held as much sorrow as Inuyasha's laughter. "Yes, unfortunately."

"It's all right, aniki." Inuyasha squeezed Sesshoumaru's hands. "We've wasted too long believing we hated each other. Or I have."

"I wasted the first two centuries, so we are equal."

Inuyasha gave a mirthless snort. "Either way, the past is over and done. We can't take those days back, but we can make the future better. So, truce?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "A truce? No. I want my brother back."

Inuyasha nodded and blinked hard. "Yeah? So do I."

Relief rushed through Sesshoumaru, sweet and dizzying and wonderful. At _last_ , he wasn't alone anymore. He embraced his brother and nuzzled his cheek. "Welcome home then, otouto."

Inuyasha buried his face in Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "Only four centuries late."

"We have the rest of our lives to make up for those years."

Inuyasha smiled. "Yeah." He stared out the window and shivered. "However long that might be."

"Yes." Sesshoumaru held Inuyasha's hand and watched the snow swirl about.


	6. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Painting of the boys and baby at the end of this one. I can't do anime style, so it's semi-realistic, but I like it anyway.

#  **Chapter 6**

##  _Closer_

Sesshoumaru looked up at a knock upon the door. Sora poked her head inside. 

"My lord, Aiko is here. She says there are urgent problems needing your attention."

Inuyasha waved him on. "It's all right, aniki. The kitten and I will take a little nap while you're gone. Kami, I'm beat anyway."

"Healing is tiresome work," Sora said, but she looked concerned. "I think a nap is a fine idea, Lord Inuyasha. I'll check in on you in a little while if the emperor is not back before then."

"Arigatou." Inuyasha set the kitten in her sleeper and curled up next to her, one hand shielding her. "Go on, aniki. We'll be fine."

Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's shoulder and the baby's hair. "I will return as soon as I am able. Should you need me for anything, send one of the guards or servants after me."

"Yeah. See you later."

Sesshoumaru nodded and stepped out of the room. Inuyasha was almost asleep before the door closed behind him.

"Kami." Sesshoumaru gave the healer a worried look. "Should he be so tired?"

"Hm. It's hard to say with alpha bearers. He's just come through quite an ordeal, so I don't believe there's cause to worry yet. Master Kazuki would be the best person to ask, however."

He nodded. "I will speak to him after Inuyasha's nap then, if he is not back sooner."

Sora smiled and bowed. "We'll take good care of them, my lord."

Sesshoumaru inclined his head and left the hospital. Yuki greeted him at the door. 

"Oh, Lord Sesshoumaru!" Yuki bowed. "Is Prince Inuyasha well? We've been worried."

"Yes. He is recovering from giving birth."

"Birth! Oh, that was what was wrong. He was in labor."

"Yes." Sesshoumaru hesitated. "Yuki, I think you will need to be careful around Inuyasha until he is sure he can trust you."

Yuki's ears flattened. "I-I noticed, my lord, but I don't understand."

"It is nothing you have done. He has had… unpleasant experiences with snow leopard youkai, I fear. I am sure he will learn to trust you in time, but for now, he is still recovering."

Yuki bowed. "I will do as you say, my lord."

Sesshoumaru rubbed his shoulder. "I know you will. Arigatou."

Faint pink flushed the leopard youkai's pale cheeks. "Oh. Y-yes, I'll do my best to earn it."

"You do." Sesshoumaru gave him a slight smile. "We will officially announce the new princess soon, I think, once Inuyasha is well and decides on their future."

Yuki nodded. "Good news. Would you like me to tell the others, my lord?"

"Yes, please do. Arigatou."

The leopard bowed. "Hai, my lord."

Sesshoumaru gave him a slight nod and carried on towards the royal council offices. A few guards he knew and trusted well inquired after Inuyasha, but he made it to his office without much trouble. Most passersby didn't dare question the emperor outside of a royal audience, and Sesshoumaru was glad of that, or he would never have any peace.

Aiko, a motherly tanuki demon a few centuries older than himself, bowed low as he approached the royal offices. "Good morning, sire."

"No formalities from you, Okaasan." Sesshoumaru guided her up and kissed her cheek. "Good morning. Has there been much trouble while I attended to Inuyasha?"

Aiko gasped. "Oh, Kami, it's true? Our prince has finally come home?"

Sesshoumaru gave her a soft smile. "Yes, he is home. I do not know yet if he intends to stay—he has a son to think of who needs him desperately—but I am hoping to convince them both. And, there is also—Okaasan, Inuyasha was in labor last night."

Aiko covered her mouth. "Oh, the poor boy! Labor, in a blizzard of all things! Is he well? The pup?"

"Yes, they are both recovering. He has not named his musume-chan yet, but she is half snow leopard youkai and half inuhanyou, and quite a beautiful little one. Her eyes are as clear as the sky. I think they will stay blue."

"She doesn't have much of the Shiro Inu in her looks then, sire?"

"Not much, no, but it is still very early to judge. She may develop more familial traits over time." 

"That's true." Aiko beamed. "Oh, a new princess, and Inuyasha finally home again! I'm so happy, sire. Congratulations!"

Sesshoumaru nodded thanks. "I am relieved we were able to come to an understanding. There is hope, at least, that they will stay. Until then, I will be watching over them in the hospital."

"Understood, sire. I will have your garments and meals sent there, if you would like?"

"Yes, arigatou. Do you have work for me, Okaasan?" 

"Right here, sire."

Sesshoumaru took a slim folder of documents from Aiko with a frown. "Is this all? With such an urgent request, I had expected to find a disaster awaiting my return."

"Those are all the letters that made it through this weather, yes, sire. It's Advisor Hoshi who wanted to see you so urgently. He's waiting in the peacock reception room."

Sesshoumaru frowned. "Hoshi? How strange. Arigatou, Aiko. You may wait for me, if you wish, as I may need your assistance after I hear his request."

Aiko bowed. "Aye, sire. I will wait here for your orders."

Sesshoumaru rubbed his chin. "Actually, Aiko, while I am meeting with him, will you ask the servants to make up two rooms in the royal quarters and prepare the nursery for a new princess? They must keep in mind she is six weeks premature and quite fragile, so great care must be taken to clean and purify her environment. The other two rooms are for Shippou, Inuyasha's adult kitsune son, and for Inuyasha himself. I would like the rooms next to mine to be given to Inuyasha, and the rooms next to his to his musuko-kun."

Aiko frowned. "I assume you mean the rooms to the west of your chambers, sire?"

"Yes. I cannot bear to…."

"We will leave Empress Rin's, Queen Tsukiko's, and Princess Homura's chambers just as they are, my lord."

"A-arigatou."

Aiko gave him a sad smile and offered her hand without touching him. He took it, grateful for the comfort of the only mother figure he had known until the queen grew beyond her aloof nature. 

"You'll be fine, my lord. You're strong of heart as well as body, and I think Inuyasha will see it before long. I hope he stays. You need each other."

Sesshoumaru let his head fall. "He understands. He believed I had abandoned him on the battlefield that night, but when I explained about… her, he understood. I hope Shippou will forgive me, too, though it may be harder won with the kit. He lost far too much because of that perceived betrayal."

Aiko rubbed his hand. "Just show them who you truly are, my lord. There isn't a subject in the kingdom who doesn't love and admire you. You've kept us all safe and happy for centuries, and your compassion is so strong now. It's going to be okay. I feel it in my bones."

Sesshoumaru took her words to heart. Kami, he hoped she was right.

With a sigh, he released her hand and hugged her instead. "Arigatou, Okaasan." He moved back and rubbed his face. "I am not looking forward to dealing with politics at this hour after so much turmoil. Still, I had better go before he becomes too annoyed. He is always more obsequious when he is annoyed."

Aiko chuckled a little. "You will be fine, sire."

Sesshoumaru smiled wryly. "We shall see." He bid her goodbye for the moment and carried his folder into the reception room with him. Advisor Hoshi, a peacock youkai who had, until Sesshoumaru ascended the imperial throne, been known as the lord of the south, paced before the windows and muttered to himself. 

"Such a mess. If only he had stayed—"

Sesshoumaru cleared his throat. "You wished to speak to me, Hoshi?"

The bird youkai bowed low. "Oh, my lord, I'm glad to see you're doing well. When I heard the… prince had returned, I feared the meeting would be… unpleasant."

Sesshoumaru fixed him with a blank stare. "Unpleasant."

"You have been feuding for centuries, and—"

"Our feud died long before the Battle of the Veil, as you know."

"But… why—"

"Hoshi. My familial relationships, whether positive or otherwise, are none of your concern. Did you have actual business for me, or did you simply drag me away from my otouto to speak of matters you have no stake in?"

The firm reprimand made the youkai's tail feathers droop. "Ah, h-hai, sire, but as it happens, my business does concern the prince."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. He hadn't had cause to kill an advisor in meetings in many centuries, but Hoshi was pushing the limits of his patience. 

"Ah, well, it is only—are you certain it is wise to ask them to stay, sire? Prince Inuyasha has injured you gravely in the past, and with the situation as it stands, I fear inviting such a powerful, hostile hanyou into the city is folly."

Sesshoumaru's fists clenched and his lips pulled back to bare his fangs. Not that it is, as I said, any of your concern, Hoshi, but Inuyasha and I have settled our differences and are getting on very well."

"But, sire—"

"I _thank you_ for your concern. However, as we have a young princess to consider as well, I must disregard your _advice_."

"Princess? You will make his pup a princess, sire?"

Sesshoumaru growled. "She was born a princess, to the grand prince of the youkai. I suggest you remember your station is not nearly so high and cease this insulting behavior before I decide I have one too many advisors in my court."

Hoshi gulped and bowed low. "H-hai, sire. I only meant to consider your safety. I—"

"Do not insult this Sesshoumaru with the suggestion that I am in need of your _consideration_. Leave. Now."

Hoshi bowed lower. "H-hai, my lord. My apologies." He scurried from the room, tail drooping and head low.

"Pompous fool." Sesshoumaru snarled and took a few deep breaths. "Utter nonsense." He muttered to himself all the way to his office and through several of the documents awaiting his approval, too.

* * *

Sesshoumaru returned to Inuyasha's room a couple hours later. The baby's insistent mewls had just begun to pick up volume, but her father was still unconscious. A thread of worry twisted around the daiyoukai's heart, and he made a mental note to call for Kazuki once the kitten's needs were met. 

"Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru brushed the hanyou's hair back from his face. "Otouto, you must wake. Your little one is hungry."

Inuyasha whimpered and curled away from his hand, muttering something unintelligible. Kami. He had to be entirely exhausted for his baby's needs not to register. 

Sesshoumaru scooped the whining baby up and winced at the smell of her. "Ah. Perhaps that is your trouble, hm?" But after changing the kitten, she still whined and shook her tiny fists. Definitely hungry.

Sesshoumaru debated giving her a bottle, but did he have the right to make such decisions without Inuyasha's input? 

"Inuyasha? Wake up, otouto. The kitten needs you."

To Sesshoumaru's relief, this time, Inuyasha opened his eyes and groaned.

"Ugh. I'm so damn tired." He rubbed his eyes and struggled to rouse himself. "I-is it normal to be this exhausted?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "We are working blind, otouto, but you are not the only one who is concerned."

Inuyasha winced. "Y-yeah. Maybe I should talk to Kaz—" He gave a loud yawn and wiped his eyes. "Kazuki. Assuming I can stay awake long enough."

Sesshoumaru winced at the kitten's sudden yowl of irritation. Inuyasha's ears flicked back.

"Poor baby, you're hungry, huh?" Inuyasha opened his yukata with shaking hands. "Give her here, aniki."

Sesshoumaru set the pup in her father's arms and sat beside him. "Rest against me if you wish. I will help you."

Inuyasha leaned into Sesshoumaru's chest and sighed. "I'm just not strong enough to take care of her, am I? She needs a real mother."

"You are her mother." Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's side. "I am here to help as much as I can."

Inuyasha nodded and rested his head against Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "I don't know if I could do this without you. Arigatou, aniki."

Sesshoumaru nuzzled his hair. "I am just glad you are allowing me to help now."

"Yeah. Me too." Inuyasha closed his eyes, though his face twitched every so often when the baby's milk teeth caught him or she tugged too hard. "Did you finish all your work?"

Sesshoumaru inclined his head. "It was merely a few requests for sanctuary and safe passage that cannot be addressed until after the storm."

Inuyasha cracked one eye open. "Why the urgency then?"

"Advisor Hoshi had… a _suggestion_ he considered an urgent matter."

"You don't sound as though you agree." 

Sesshoumaru scowled. "I don't."

"Hm. Guess royals have their share of problems too, huh?"

Sesshoumaru nodded. "Too many most days."

"Ain't that the tr—agh, Kami, kitten." Inuyasha grimaced and shifted the baby to the other side of his chest. "She's taking my nipples off."

Sesshoumaru chuckled a little. "Homura did for me as well."

Inuyasha gave him a searching look. "Hm. Was that part of why you hated me, aniki? Because I'm technically your alpha despite the fact that you're older, stronger, and of pure lineage?"

"It was, for many years. I have since accepted my place."

Inuyasha shuddered. "Aniki, I have less than no desire to take your place. You're a damn good leader, and I'm not cut out for politics anyway. I'd probably just beat the shit out of the first asshole who pissed me off."

Sesshoumaru smiled a little. "I know. It is part of the reason I was able to accept you. You have never desired to _control_ me, only to be a part of my life."

Inuyasha nodded and laughed wryly. "I'm not much of an alpha, I guess. Didn't get the whole dominant part. I'm more comfortable behind the scenes."

Sesshoumaru brushed Inuyasha's bangs off his forehead. "Hn. I am more of an alpha in terms of personality and position, but beta by birth." He paused and glanced at his brother. "Another way we are each other's mirror."

Inuyasha nodded a little, expression soft. "Yeah. How'd you end up being the emperor as a beta though?"

"Other than the fact that I am the last remaining daiyoukai? I do not act like a beta, so they assume I am alpha. Kazuki, Aiko, Jaken, Shippou, and now you are the only ones who know the truth. No one else."

"Shippou knows? He never said a word."

"Yes, he does. I healed you as a primary beta to their alpha during the battle, and Shippou witnessed it. There wasn't time to discuss it then, however; so he kept it quiet."

"How on earth do you keep it secret?"

"Suppressants aid with controlling my cycle for the most part, and Aiko guards me ferociously during what heats they do not prevent."

"Ah. That makes sense. I used to guard Momo when she went into heat, though she had Shippou, too. She's gone now, though." Inuyasha rubbed Sesshoumaru's knee. "So Jaken knows, huh? The little runt's still kicking, then?"

"And still following me like a very small, very green shadow whenever I allow it."

Inuyasha's indelicate snort startled the baby, and she gave a little mew of annoyance.

"All right, kid. Otousan will shut up and let you eat now. Or try anyway."

Sesshoumaru soothed her with a soft crooning sound that had always worked to calm Homura. The baby purred and went back to her suckling. 

"Never thought I'd say this, but you're good with kids, aniki."

"Lessons learned from painful experience."

Inuyasha made a humming sound and rubbed Sesshoumaru's knee, though the daiyoukai doubted the hanyou realized he was doing it. His crinkled brow and distant expression suggested deep thought. 

"Maybe…."

Sesshoumaru watched a rapid succession of emotions flicker across Inuyasha's face. "Otouto? Maybe what?"

Inuyasha came back with a jolt, and a pink flush crept up his face. "Uh, what was that?"

"You were thinking. I wondered what about."

Inuyasha turned to watch his brother's face. "Hm. You, actually. You think you'll stay like this?"

"It is who I am under the defensive nature and anger, at least with those I trust. And what reason is there to fight now either way? In the end, I have no one left but you and your little one. Returning to my past behavior would only alienate us both and deprive your kitten of her ojisan and family heritage."

Inuyasha sighed. "Yeah. That's true. I don't want to fight anymore either. Never did, really."

"I am sorry, otouto. I have much to make up to you."

Inuyasha shook his head. "We've both been through hell, Sesshoumaru, and we already decided to let the past go. I just want my kitten to know her ojisan, and I don't want to lose this either."

Sesshoumaru made that same purring sound, this time a reaction to his alpha's desire for his presence. His face burned, but he didn't attempt to suppress it. Especially when Inuyasha responded with a low rumbling purr of his own and looked just as surprised by it.

"Instinct?"

Sesshoumaru nodded. 

"Ah. It's fine then as long as we're alone. Don't want to cause you problems."

"Hn. You won't."

The baby chose that moment to whine and snuffle Inuyasha's chest. 

The hanyou winced. "I don't think she got enough this time either."

Sesshoumaru stood and smoothed Inuyasha's hair. "Wait here. I will retrieve a bottle for her."

Inuyasha opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, and nodded instead. "Arigatou."

Sesshoumaru bowed slightly and left the room, emotions raw and hopeful at once. Inuyasha had accepted him. Perhaps it wouldn't be impossible to convince him to come home after all. With that bracing thought in mind, Sesshoumaru retrieved the formula and Kazuki. 

"Inuyasha seems much too tired, Kazuki, and the baby is not getting enough milk." Sesshoumaru frowned. "Now that I think of it, the baby seems lethargic, too."

Kazuki stood from his desk and bowed. "I have a half hour before my next appointment. I'll go examine them now."

"Arigatou." 

Sesshoumaru waited outside the room during the examination. When Kazuki invited him back inside, Inuyasha was sitting up with the baby in his arms and the mostly-empty bottle in hand. The infant drank it without complaint, but, as much as it relieved Sesshoumaru to see his niece receiving the nutrients she needed to survive, he worried it wouldn't be enough for her. The more powerful the youkai, the more youki they needed to take in from their parents. Inuyasha couldn't bear the burden for an Inu princess alone.

Perhaps, if Sesshoumaru was careful, Inuyasha might consider letting his brother share the burden of feeding her spirit instead. 

_'One step at a time,'_ he reminded himself and returned to his seat beside the bed. 

"How are you? Everything is well?"

Inuyasha nodded. "Kazuki said we're doing okay, and it's fairly normal to be exhausted after such a hard delivery, especially since I had to run through a blizzard during labor. He's a bit worried about our youki levels, but, for now, he wants to give me a little more time to adjust to the load." He said it without a flinch, but Sesshoumaru sensed the fear behind his words.

He tipped Inuyasha's chin down to look into his eyes. "Inuyasha, I failed you as a child. I will not let history repeat itself. If the kitten needs youki, we _will_ find a way to keep her healthy. I am willing to—" He cut himself off and looked away. _'Too soon!'_ He went on with, "To do whatever it takes to see my mei-chan grow up strong."

Inuyasha watched him in silence for a long moment. "Okay," he murmured. "I believe you."

Sesshoumaru blinked back a sudden, unexpected rush of emotion. Kami, he wasn't used to feeling so much at once. 

"Arigatou."

"Yeah. Come here and sit with me. It helps, I think. Just having you close makes me less tired."

"You need your pack to heal."

"Yeah."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru sat beside Inuyasha on the bed instead and wrapped father and daughter in his fur, a gentle hug and blanket all in one. "How is this?"

Inuyasha smiled at him, a genuine smile full of relief and peace, and Sesshoumaru's heart took flight. 

"It's good." Inuyasha leaned against his brother's side. "I'm glad you're here, aniki. I missed you, too."

"You are mad to, considering how much I hurt you, but… yes. I am glad, too."

Inuyasha tucked Sesshoumaru's head under his chin and sighed, the sound rich with contentment. "Good. Crazy or not, it's good to have my pack home again."

Sesshoumaru purred softly and didn't let it embarrass him this time. Home. This was home, whatever that idiot Hoshi thought. And he would do everything in his power to keep it this way.

"Inuyasha, you never answered me earlier. Would you consider staying in the castle?"

Inuyasha hesitated. "I—it's just, I don't live alone, aniki. Shippou…."

"He is welcome as well, as is Kirara. As Kazuki said, this world is too hostile to all youkai to continue fighting among ourselves. He will be treated well here, and your technology developments will make you both very popular, I think."

"You really think so? Even though I'm a hanyou?"

"You know I set laws in place protecting hanyou before Homura's birth, but I also defended them with stories of _your_ bravery and strength, otouto. Homura, too, proved her worth before…."

Inuyasha tucked Sesshoumaru's head under his chin again. "Shh. Don't think of that." A light kiss brushed his temple. "Arigatou."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes at the small gesture of affection. It had been so long since anyone had held him or kissed him. For all that he presented a strong front to his subjects, he had missed this desperately. Betas weren't meant to live without love. It was part of the reason he had been so warped in Naraku's time.

More and more, he needed his family to stay.

"Inuyasha, do you suppose you could be happy here, knowing you will be respected and valued and your musuko-kun will be safe?"

Inuyasha squeezed Sesshoumaru's shoulders. "I need to talk to Shippou about it before I can give you a definite answer, but I think he'll be relieved to have a safe place to stay." His expression turned grim. "We set up our latest shelter near Hiroshima as the humans don't like the memories or the devastated landscape, but they're coming too close again. Our home won't be safe for long."

"No. Nowhere outside the veil is safe." Sesshoumaru nudged Inuyasha closer. "Should I send a messenger?"

"It would terrify him. Kirara's already after him anyway, and my guess is he'll come here. He knows I had nowhere else to go."

"In this world, it is not safe to let him travel alone even with your earrings. I would feel safer if someone was with him."

"Then you'll have to take me back with the baby once the snow clears and we're healthy enough to stand the trip."

"I see. I will arrange for an automobile to make the journey easier. We shall wait until the moonless night in two days, if you are not averse to lending me your earring."

Inuyasha shook his head. "If it means we get there safely, go for it."

"Arigatou." Sesshoumaru rubbed Inuyasha's back. "Have you thought of a name yet?"

Inuyasha looked to the frosted windows and back to his daughter. "Miyuki."

Sesshoumaru chuckled. "Fitting."

"Yeah. She's my snow baby. Best thing to come out of a night of hell."

Sesshoumaru had an awful feeling that Inuyasha meant more than his desperate journey through a blizzard or his horrific early labor.

"Yes. She is beautiful. And she will purify more than your grief, I think."

Inuyasha rested against Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "Yeah. My little snow angel."

Sesshoumaru brushed a kiss atop Inuyasha's head and held him close against his side, the sleepy kitten cradled between them and purring in their laps.

* * *

[Digital painting of the family snuggling.](https://flic.kr/p/2kjWfG6)


	7. A Closer Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I broke my foot in 6 places the other day and am waiting to find out if I need surgery or not on Tuesday. Good vibes would be appreciated!

#  **Chapter 7**

##  _A Closer Bond_

Night had fallen, though the sky still swirled white and gray. Inuyasha had fallen asleep against Sesshoumaru's chest with the pup snuggled between them an hour or so ago, and the once cold daiyoukai had cherished every moment. Sesshoumaru hadn't felt peace and belonging like this since Homura had been small, and Rin's swift-approaching mortality had tainted each of those sweet moments with the knowledge that they couldn't last long. 

These moments, too, held shadows of their own. Would Inuyasha leave soon? Would Sesshoumaru lose their bond and all the joy it brought his lonely heart in just one day? Would this be the only opportunity he had to feel the healing energy of a pack bond and family before the claustrophobic existence of his solitary life closed out the light once more?

He couldn't do it again. He couldn't lose this small family he needed so desperately.

Betas weren't meant to endure alone.

Inuyasha sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer, and Sesshoumaru tightened the embrace of his fur around them. No. He wouldn't waste this time fretting over how long he could keep it. The kit understood loss. Perhaps if Sesshoumaru spoke to him with honesty and without pride, Shippou would be willing to give life in the city a chance. It was a hope, anyway. 

Yes, he would do just that. Inuyasha would support him, he was sure of it.

Perhaps by this time tomorrow, Sesshoumaru would have a new family to protect. Kami, he hoped so. 

He rested against the headboard and let the peace of this moment heal his soul, at least for a little while.

* * *

Inuyasha woke with fluffy warmth wrapped around his body, mewling snuffles in his ear, and a gentle hand stroking his hair and nape. He looked up to find Sesshoumaru sitting beside him with a book. By the time Inuyasha blinked the sleep from his eyes and roused himself enough to register the cover, his brother had tucked it away into a fold of his suikan. 

"Good afternoon, otouto. You slept about three hours. Are you hungry?"

Inuyasha winced. "Not much. I could try to eat some soup, maybe."

"Yes, Kazuki said you aren't to have solid food today. I will arrange a meal for you."

"Arigatou."

Sesshoumaru nodded and stepped out. While he was gone, Inuyasha opened his yukata and placed his daughter against his chest. As before, she had trouble latching and caught him with more teeth than suction, and a thread of worry settled in his gut. The baby still couldn't get enough from him. Would the formula mix do as well to keep her healthy? And what of her youki needs? Already, he was feeling the drain. 

Kami help him. Alphas just weren't meant to stand in as mothers.

But then, his brother was beta, wasn't he? 

Inuyasha stared at the door his brother had just left through. Sesshoumaru had implied before that he would be willing to help, or had Inuyasha misinterpreted his offer? The man was an emperor. For all he claimed hanyou had a better life and standing here, Inuyasha couldn't entirely believe it. Surely he wouldn't want to be seen with a hanyou's brat hanging on his arm. And he had said no one knew he was beta. They would figure it out in a hurry if Sesshoumaru nursed his pup.

Besides that, even if Sesshoumaru was honestly willing, did Inuyasha want to foster that kind of bond between his daughter and his brother? A _parental_ bond?

If Inuyasha could say, without a doubt, that Shippou would stay, he would say yes in a heartbeat, but he had the feeling convincing him would be difficult. Shippou carried a lot of anger and resentment for the past. He might let it go for Inuyasha's sake, but the hanyou would bet his left arm it took him a while to warm up to the idea regardless.

Maybe it wouldn't be necessary in a few days. Kazuki had said that Inuyasha's milk might come in. If it did, he wouldn't need to bond Sesshoumaru to a new daughter he would then lose, at least for a while. 

Yes, it was best to wait and hope for the best, but Inuyasha couldn't help worrying. Alpha pregnancies were so rare, and almost none of them resulted in a normal birth and nursing stage. All but four recorded alpha bearers had died in the early stages of pregnancy or lost their young, and those few who survived and bore healthy infants needed help to keep their child alive. Inuyasha didn't think his strength would grant him any leeway this time either, not with a full youkai baby—a baby of his bloodline, too—and a hanyou bearer.

He rubbed his kitten's back and hoped he could find a viable solution soon, for Miyuki's sake.

Sesshoumaru returned and paused just inside the door. "Inuyasha? Are you all right?"

Inuyasha watched Miyuki struggle and gave a shaky sigh. "Worried. I don't think I'm enough for her."

Sesshoumaru sat at his side and laid his hand over Inuyasha's. "You are, but remember you do not face this alone."

Inuyasha turned his hand palm up and pressed his fingertips against Sesshoumaru's. It was an intimate touch, certainly more so than he would have tolerated from anyone but Kagome in the early days of his adult life, but war had taught Inuyasha lessons, too. He had lost too many people he cared for to let pride get in the way of simple affection. In this dark shade of what life used to be, any moment might be their last.

"Arigatou."

Sesshoumaru stared at their hands. He said nothing for a long moment, more interested in rubbing Inuyasha's fingertips with minute motions of his own. Their claws clicked together every so often, the tiny sound so loud in the quiet of the room and the sudden echo in Inuyasha's heart. He had the vague sense that he should recognize the stillness, the peace inside him, but he couldn't think of much beyond the surge of warmth and relief Sesshoumaru's touch brought to his war-weary soul. 

Still, it felt good. He relaxed into that wonderful calm, so soothing and soft, and all his worries floated away.

At least until Miyuki gave a pitiful whine and pressed her hands against his chest the way nursing kittens did to draw out their mother's milk. He settled her at his other side, his stomach heavy and cold. Would he be able to care for her?

Sesshoumaru moved his hand back into Inuyasha's, this time sliding his fingers between the hanyou's. His palm was warm and smooth against Inuyasha's skin. 

"You are not alone."

Inuyasha gave him a hesitant smile. "You'll stay by me?"

Sesshoumaru's throat bobbed and his eyes closed. The sudden emotion in his youki stunned Inuyasha—when had Sesshoumaru ever been so open?

"Yes. Having you home is—I…." He dropped his head, unable to go on, but Inuyasha sensed what he couldn't say. He released Sesshoumaru's hand only to pull him into a one-armed hug.

"I'm here."

Sesshoumaru turned to rest his head against Inuyasha's. "Will you stay?"

Inuyasha's heart fluttered. "I want to, aniki, but I have to talk to Shippou first. He—he's lost everything but me and Kirara. He won't survive without us."

Sesshoumaru shuddered a little. "Yes. I know the feeling. Would it help, do you think, if I explained that I understand?"

Inuyasha stroked Sesshoumaru's hair, enjoying the feel of all that heavy silver silk between his fingers. "Mm. I think we all know by now, Sesshoumaru. Even I—"

Sesshoumaru whipped his head up. "What? I thought you said you had never lost a child?"

"Like you have? Shippou? No. The three pups Kagome and I tried to have before we gave up never saw the light of day."

" _Kami_." Sesshoumaru kissed Inuyasha's temple and wrapped his arms around both father and daughter. "I swear to you we will not lose this little one."

"You can't honestly keep that promise either, aniki."

"I know, but I will damn well try."

Inuyasha smiled despite a twist of grief for all he had lost. Three pups and a niece before he ever met them, and a grandson just as he was beginning to show an interest in nature and healing. He would have followed in his father's footsteps one day, Inuyasha had never doubted that, but fate had stolen him away before he had the chance. 

He gazed down at his tiny daughter and cradled her close to his heart. _'I promise you, Princess, I'll keep you safe this time.'_

And Miyuki would be safest here. Perhaps that, if nothing else, would convince her honorary brother to set aside his fears and grudges against Sesshoumaru and start a new life in the city. There were kitsune here, and other species if Shippou couldn't bear another of his own kind to mate. One day, perhaps, he could begin a new family. Inuyasha could hope for it anyway. 

Sesshoumaru murmured, "I am glad you are with me, otouto, as long as it lasts."

Inuyasha squeezed Sesshoumaru's hand and promised him silently, whether Shippou wanted to stay or not, Inuyasha wouldn't leave him to face the world all alone again.

* * *

Kazuki returned the next morning. Inuyasha greeted him with a nervous smile and moved the blanket back from his infant's sleeping form. She mewled and wriggled about, but dropped off again immediately.

"Hm." Kazuki frowned a little and stepped inside. "Good morning, Inuyasha." He kept his voice low for the baby's sake. "How are you fe—" 

Sesshoumaru walked into view and paused at the door. "Ah. I didn't realize you were with Inuyasha, Kazuki. I will wait."

"You can come in if you want, aniki," Inuyasha said with a tired smile. "And if Kazuki is okay with it."

Kazuki hesitated. "I need to examine your wound, Inuyasha. It would require you to undress from the hips up."

Inuyasha shrugged. "Not like he hasn't seen it before."

"All right. Then you may come in, my lord."

Sesshoumaru nodded and went to the chair beside Inuyasha's bed. He greeted his brother with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder and took his seat. 

"Go on, Healer Kazuki."

The healer bowed. "Arigatou, Lord Sesshoumaru. As I was saying, how do you feel this morning, Inuyasha? Better at all?"

Inuyasha gave him a wan smile. "Other than being exhausted, yes. It doesn't hurt as much anyway."

Kazuki's eyes widened briefly, then narrowed. "I see. Open your yukata and lie back, please."

Inuyasha did as he asked, though his hands trembled. Sesshoumaru watched him with clear worry in his eyes. He wanted to help, Inuyasha judged, but thought his fiercely independent brother wouldn't welcome his assistance. Well, perhaps Inuyasha wouldn't, not with _this_. Maybe he couldn't fight at the moment, but undoing his yukata wasn't that much of a challenge.

Or it shouldn't have been, but by the time Inuyasha lay upon the sheets, bare to the top of his groin, he was shaking and breathing hard.

Sesshoumaru glanced down Inuyasha's body, then locked worried eyes onto Kazuki. The healer bent over the wound and gently prodded the flesh around it. 

Inuyasha hissed at a particularly painful poke. "Ah. Still sore."

Kazuki's frown deepened. "Sorry. I'll try to be gentler." He carried on checking things for a minute, then stood straight. "I'm going to do another massage now, all right?"

Inuyasha grimaced and braced himself. "Yeah, go ahead." He endured the painful manipulation of his stomach without flinching away, though it was a close thing. 

"All over now." Kazuki stood, expression impassive. "I'm going to read your youki. You'll feel warm."

Inuyasha nodded, and green light glowed on the healer's palm. A rush of heat surged through him. Then a second. 

"Hm." Kazuki let his hand fall. "Inuyasha, I need to run some bloodwork on you and Miyuki. Do you mind?"

Inuyasha clutched the sheet and glanced between his kitten and his brother. "Sesshoumaru…?"

"He is honest, otouto. It is sometimes necessary to rule out illness."

"Do you think I'm sick?"

"You have been weakened by giving birth and traveling through a blizzard. It is possible, though I hope not."

Inuyasha winced. "Okay. Just, it was odd. No one's asked for blood before."

Kazuki nodded. "Many healers believe youki prevents illness. Under most circumstances, it does, but this is not 'most cases' for either you or your pup."

"More kitten than pup."

"Physically, perhaps, but her blood is yours and her clan is Shiro Inu, so pup she will be."

Inuyasha smiled. "Yeah? I guess so." Kazuki's practical point of view comforted him. So she hadn't inherited _everything_ from that—

He suppressed a shudder and returned his focus to the problem at hand. "Okay, go ahead, doc."

Kazuki chuckled. "That's new. All right. Let me get the lab equipment and I'll be right back."

Inuyasha nodded and watched him go. "Aniki, is it just me, or does he look worried?"

Sesshoumaru took Inuyasha's hand. "No. It is not just you."

Inuyasha shivered and laid a protective hand over his baby. "I was afraid you'd say that."

* * *

Kazuki returned after running his tests and sat on the healer's stool by the sink. "I'm afraid my news isn't good, Prince. You aren't healing as you should, even taking your human blood into account. By now, that wound should have closed on a hanyou. A youkai would be fully healed, if tired. You're still bleeding and raw, and both you and the pup are weak—far weaker than you should be and definitely too much so to travel. I cannot even let you leave the hospital like this, let alone travel across the country."

Inuyasha flinched. "But Shippou…."

Kazuki nodded. "There is one solution, but I'm not sure how you'll take it."

Inuyasha steeled himself. "Tell me."

Kazuki folded his hands in his lap. "It's your youki, Inuyasha. You're almost as powerful as a daiyoukai by all accounts, but your youki is still that of a hanyou. You're having trouble keeping up with your little princess there, who is also weakened. There are two options to correct it. Your brother, I'm sure, would be happy to donate some of his power to both of you, but, if you're uncomfortable with the pup having a closer bond to her ojisan, I am also willing to help in a professional capacity. It will bond me to the little one, too, but I have bonds to many youkai in the same situation and have never used them for anything beyond healing. You are in need of a transfusion yourself, too, if you intend to travel tonight, and I am willing to help there as well if you have no one else. Either way, once your youki is replenished, you should heal quickly. If neither option appeals, I'm afraid you'll need to stay in the hospital until a suitable donor can be found, particularly as your temporary humanity will put both you and the pup at grave risk."

Inuyasha winced. "Can't stay here, and I don't want to risk her health. We've all lost too many young. I won't endanger her, too." He looked to Sesshoumaru. "Are you…?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

Inuyasha rubbed his palm. "Even knowing Shippou might…?"

"Yes. In any condition, yes." But his hand trembled in Inuyasha's, and his youki shuddered with the possibility of losing another bonded child. 

Inuyasha stroked his fingers. "Kazuki, can you give us a moment?"

"Of course. Good luck, my lords." With a quick bow, he left the brothers alone. 

"Sesshoumaru, listen to me. Shippou _will_ fight this. He's angry, and it will take time to bring him around, but I think, when he knows we _need_ you, he'll come. He isn't as powerful as you are. He won't be able to support us both as well as you could, and he's a healer at heart. He'll come around." Inuyasha squeezed Sesshoumaru's hand. "Even if he can't bear it tonight, you _won't_ lose us, okay? I might not be able to come as much as I want, but—"

"No." Sesshoumaru tugged Inuyasha into his arms. "No. It is far too dangerous to travel with an infant. I will not allow you to risk her life for my sake."

Inuyasha laid his head on Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "I-I don't want to lose you either."

Sesshoumaru shuddered. "Perhaps—hm. Make an earring for me if Shippou cannot bear the idea of staying here permanently. I will come to you."

"But that risks your life."

"It is the only option I will consider."

Inuyasha sighed. "All right. You're very dominant for a beta, you know."

"And you are rather submissive for an alpha."

"Depends on the topic." Inuyasha sat up. "Well, we'll figure it out, aniki. For now, let's just get Miyuki back up to a normal youki level and talk to Shippou, and we'll go from there, okay?"

Sesshoumaru nodded and moved back, though he kept Inuyasha's hand in his. "I will care for the pup now then?"

"Yeah, Miyuki first. I've come through worse. She's much too small to bear this."

Sesshoumaru squeezed Inuyasha's fingers and held the baby to his chest. She whimpered and mewled, until Sesshoumaru pricked his finger and let her suckle it. The baby relaxed right away, and a rush of white light glowed on her skin and faded. Inuyasha watched with a mix of curiosity and trepidation. 

"Uh… do I have to suck your fingers?"

Sesshoumaru looked up, cheeks bright pink. "No. It is only done this way for children."

"Oh."

"You are able to draw blood from me on your own."

Inuyasha coughed. "I have to…?"

"How else do you suppose I should share my power with you?"

"Well, I thought…." Inuyasha grimaced. "Doesn't matter. I'll do it. Just don't expect me to like it."

Sesshoumaru gave him a look tinged with sorrow, and Inuyasha wondered what he had missed. 

Sesshoumaru murmured, "I don't."

"Oh. I—aniki, did I say something wrong?"

"No." Sesshoumaru removed his finger and patted the girl's belly. "All finished. Your otousan should feed you now."

Inuyasha opened his yukata again and set the baby against his chest. "Ah! Ouch, kitten. Well, she seems stronger anyway."

Sesshoumaru nodded and looked away. Inuyasha slid his free hand into his brother's. 

"Aniki, what have I said to hurt you? Talk to me."

Sesshoumaru sighed. "Sharing youki is an incredibly intimate bond for adult youkai, pack youkai in particular. If the existing bond between us is weak, if you still mistrust me, then you will find it unpleasant. Jarring. Our youki will clash."

"Oh. So not liking it means I don't like _you_."

"Ah, that is a bit of an oversimplification, but, essentially, yes."

Inuyasha rubbed Sesshoumaru's fingers. "It'll be okay then. Couldn't help but care about you even when you hated me."

Sesshoumaru squeezed Inuyasha's hand, but said nothing. Inuyasha let it go and considered his bond to his brother. 

Weak? It had been, when Inuyasha believed Sesshoumaru had betrayed him on the battlefield. Now that he knew the truth, it pulsed and shimmered in his heart like a living thing, bright and warm, and every bit as strong as his bond to Shippou. Stronger, maybe. Shippou was an alpha, if not a powerful alpha like Inuyasha. That played into their bond and caused a rift of competition between them, though neither had ever acted on it or allowed it to interfere with one another. 

Sesshoumaru, on the other hand was Inuyasha's only pack beta, and with a six-hundred year old bond between them, one that had somehow survived all kinds of hell—Kami. He had the feeling this bond would be strong. Maybe stronger than he was ready for. 

Well, either way, he wouldn't reject Sesshoumaru. Whatever happened when their youki blended, they needed each other desperately.

Miyuki released her father, and Sesshoumaru passed Inuyasha the bottle he had brought in with him. Inuyasha gave the baby the bottle and looked up to find the daiyoukai watching Miyuki with a far-off look in his eyes, as if he was seeing another little princess from a time long since lost. Damn. Inuyasha didn't want him thinking of that. Not if it hurt.

"Sesshoumaru, do you wanna…?" He lifted the baby a little and nodded to the bottle. "I mean, she is your mei-chan."

Sesshoumaru gave him a slight smile. "You trust me so far?"

"Sounds like I should have trusted you better a long time ago."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. "Arigatou, but do not blame yourself. It is over now."

"Yeah. So, do you want to feed her?"

Sesshoumaru nodded and shifted the baby into his arms. She complained for a moment, just until Sesshoumaru returned her bottle, then she settled down with a little purr.

"That's really adorable, you know."

Sesshoumaru glared, but there was no heat in it. "Daiyoukai are _not_ adorable."

Inuyasha grinned. "Alpha prerogative. I'll call you adorable if I want."

Sesshoumaru huffed. "What a strange way to manifest your alpha heritage."

"Eh, I've got no interest in power or ordering people around. Making you glare at me and blush is my life's goal at the moment."

"Aiming high, are we?"

Inuyasha laughed. "You're happy about it and you know it."

Sesshoumaru gave him a tentative smile. "I am. I am glad we are able to talk like this now."

"Yeah. We've come a long way from trying our damndest to kill each other, huh?"

Sesshoumaru nodded. "I am sorry, otouto."

"Like you said, it's over. Let's just let the past go and build a new future, yeah?"

"Yes. That is what I want as well."

"No need to keep apologizing then. We were both idiots at one point or another, but we've finally both caught on, so let's keep it that way."

Sesshoumaru smiled a little. "Yes."

Inuyasha rubbed Sesshoumaru's palm and watched him feed the baby, warm and content and happy for the first time in a long time. Soon, however, Miyuki had finished her meal, and that meant it was Inuyasha's turn to share Sesshoumaru's youki. Sesshoumaru patted the baby's back until she gave a tiny burp, changed her diaper, and wrapped her in her swaddling blanket once more. Miyuki fell asleep in minutes, snuggled into her uncle's arms and purring up a storm.

"She really likes you," Inuyasha said with a wry smile. "Listen to her go."

Sesshoumaru's cheeks turned pink. "I am glad of it."

"Hah! Made you blush and it wasn't even that hard. My life is now complete."

Sesshoumaru shot him a glare. "Shall I return the favor?"

Inuyasha held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, though he grinned, too. "Oh, no. No, you're too creative in your revenge. I'll be a good boy from now on."

Sesshoumaru snorted, though he kept it quiet. "I do not believe you."

"Yeah, probably wise."

Sesshoumaru chuckled. "Ah. I think…." He sniffed and nodded. "Yes, asleep." He set her in her bassinet and turned to Inuyasha. "If you are ready…."

Inuyasha swallowed hard. Blood, huh? Well, he'd seen enough nosferatu films to have an idea of where to start. Probably easier to get from there, too—as long as he was careful about it. Best to aim for the vein then. Even in daiyoukai, arteries bled fast, especially major arteries.

"All right. Here goes nothing then." He stepped close. "I'll try not to hurt you, okay?"

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and held out his hand. "It is nothing. Go on."

Inuyasha nodded. "Let me know if that changes." He took Sesshoumaru's hand and swept the daiyoukai's hair aside. "Ready?" 

"Yes." 

Inuyasha tipped Sesshoumaru's chin back, and his brother gasped.

"I-Inuyasha? What…?"

"Have to take in your blood don't I? So I'm doing it."

"But why th—"

Inuyasha nuzzled his neck, and Sesshoumaru's words cut off in a soft whine. Inuyasha stilled, unsure if that was consent or fear, but then, Sesshoumaru's head tilted to the side, and his fingers clenched in Inuyasha's haori. Inuyasha gulped at a sudden flutter of nerves. Had he been stupid again to pick this spot? Was this some Inu ritual or something? If so, Sesshoumaru didn't seem to be able to tell him about it. Those whines hadn't stopped, and his brother's youki was wild and hot under his skin. 

Wait. Sesshoumaru's eyes….

Red. Shit.

"Sesshoumaru, you—" Inuyasha's sharp cry cut off as his own youki surged and responded to Sesshoumaru's. Oh no, oh gods, _no_! He couldn't control it!

Sesshoumaru cupped both sides of Inuyasha's face and pressed their foreheads together. He didn't seem capable of speech beyond those soft, animalistic sounds, but they communicated safety to Inuyasha. 

"S-Sesshoumaru?"

"Normal," Sesshoumaru forced out, voice rough and strained. "Youki in control. Safe."

Inuyasha nuzzled his cheek. "Don't want to hurt you."

"Won't." Sesshoumaru tipped his chin back. "Y-Yasha, please."

Oh. Kami. Sesshoumaru calling him that, pleading with him—Inuyasha _really_ liked it. A low rumble escaped him, and he didn't try to stop it. Whatever train he had just dragged them aboard, they were too far into it to worry about his instincts now.

"Shh. I've got you." With that gentle reassurance, Inuyasha cradled Sesshoumaru's neck and carefully pricked his pulse point with his fangs. Sesshoumaru gasped and clutched at Inuyasha's shoulders, then gave a soft whimper that turned Inuyasha's insides to mush.

"You're okay. It's okay." He kissed Sesshoumaru's neck lightly, though he had no idea where that desire had come from, and sealed his mouth over Sesshoumaru's bleeding throat. The daiyoukai surged up and arched back, and Inuyasha soon understood why. 

With the first taste, he felt Sesshoumaru everywhere. He was inside his mind, pulsing in his veins, hot and sparkling new in his nerve endings. They shared every breath, every heartbeat, every thought. 

_'Kami-Kami-Kami,'_ ran through Sesshoumaru's mind. Panic and heavy emotion at once. Inuyasha soothed him with gentle caresses against his throat and ear. 

_'It's all right. You're okay.'_

_'You will turn me out. I—'_

_'Shh. I'm right here. It's gonna be okay.'_

Sesshoumaru whimpered and clung to Inuyasha's shoulders. _'Please, I….'_

Damn. What on earth had terrified Sesshoumaru so much? He had said their demons coming to the fore was normal, so why was he panicking now?

_'Shh. Breathe. You're all right.'_

Inuyasha lapped at his neck until his instincts told him to stop, that he had taken enough and his beta needed healing and reassurance.

Inuyasha sealed the wounds with a youki-charged lick and pulled Sesshoumaru into his arms. 

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay. Why are you so scared?"

Sesshoumaru trembled hard. Those whining sounds still hadn't stopped, and his breath against Inuyasha's neck rushed out in erratic bursts.

"Sesshoumaru?"

The youkai stood and jerked a mask of calm over his features, but Inuyasha felt an echo of his fear and sudden despair. Guilt, too. What had happened?

"I-I need a moment. I'll return in—I'll be back soon."

"Hey, aniki, wait!" But Inuyasha's call fell only on the swing of the door. Damn it. Gone again.

He sighed and settled on the bed. Well, this time, he knew something had freaked Sesshoumaru out. Maybe the closeness of their bond—it had shocked Inuyasha how deep it went, too. Either way, he would give his brother the benefit of the doubt.

_'All right, Sesshoumaru. Take a minute to get your head on straight. We'll wait for you.'_

Inuyasha wondered if Sesshoumaru could still hear him, but as he heard no response, he let the idea go. 

"Okay, kid. Don't know what's wrong with your ojisan, but we'll work it out, right?"

Miyuki purred, and Inuyasha took it as a sign. They would be okay. They had to be. He wasn't willing to let his brother walk out of his life again.


	8. Chapter 8

#  **Chapter 8**

##  _Headfirst_

Sesshoumaru paced the courtyard, heedless of the snow and the wind. Kami, what had he done? Inuyasha was all he had left besides Aiko, and he would hate him now. 

If only Sesshoumaru had thought to explain the significance of _where_ one chose to share youki before Inuyasha had initiated the transfer and awakened their demons. He had tried to explain once he understood Inuyasha's intent, of course, but he had barely been able to form a syllable or two once the beast took him over. His humanoid mind had cried out to stop the madness, but his beast had been quite happy to let it carry on. 

The damn contrary mongrel. This was why he rarely gave his youki full rein, damn it. 

"Stupid, foolish, self-centered dog," he growled at himself. 

Now what was he to do? Inuyasha hadn't known. He had no idea what kind of bond he had just begun with his half-brother, but Sesshoumaru did. And when Inuyasha knew, when he realized what he had done, when he understood that Sesshoumaru had known and _hadn't stopped him_ —never mind the fact that he _couldn't_ —Inuyasha would believe the worst of him again. Their bond was so tentative, so new, much too new for this, and Inuyasha's trust was too fragile. 

Sesshoumaru's youkai, apparently, had chosen Inuyasha, and Inuyasha's had chosen him, but Sesshoumaru would lose him anyway. Even if, somehow, Inuyasha didn't hate him for his stupid mistake, he would still lose him. The hanyou had warned him the first night, though neither of them had foreseen _this_. 

_"Never been anyone but her…."_

Inuyasha wasn't ready to move on. Neither was Sesshoumaru, for that matter, but they were in it together now. Inuyasha might be leaving the city altogether soon, too. 

Damn. What was he supposed to do? Was it even fair to tell him when he had a major decision to make tonight concerning the future of his pup and his kit? The knowledge of their bond might drive him away, but it might also put pressure on him to stay out of duty. Maybe it would be best to let him make that decision first, then tell him. 

_If_ he chose to stay. Else, it would only break both of their hearts.

A surge of strong emotion rushed through the bond to Inuyasha. The hanyou was upset about something, but Sesshoumaru could tell little beyond that. He wasn't in danger, not here, but Sesshoumaru turned back towards the hospital anyway. He had lost far too much to take chances.

And now, he would lose more. Kami help him.

* * *

Inuyasha felt his brother's turmoil through their bond, so he didn't try to call him back. Sesshoumaru had things to work through, clearly, but as the minutes stretched on and the daiyoukai grew more and more distressed, Inuyasha worried for him. 

Just what the hell had _happened_ during that youki exchange to send Sesshoumaru into this kind of despair?

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. 

"Prince Inuyasha? It's Kazuki. Can I come in?"

Inuyasha shook a surge of tension out of his frame. No need to jump at every sound here. 

"Uh, yeah. Come in."

He gave Inuyasha a concerned look. "I just watched the emperor run out of the hospital in great distress. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Inuyasha stared out the window, trying to pick out the hints of red and purple on Sesshoumaru's imperial suikan, but he saw nothing but snow. 

"I—Kami, hell if I know." Inuyasha picked at the fabric over his knees, unwilling to meet the healer's eyes. "We did the youki transfer, but it scared the shit out of him, and he bolted out of here like a bat out of hell without saying anything. I have no idea why."

Kazuki frowned. "It scared him? Did your bond take?"

Inuyasha coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. Really well, actually. At least, I think it did."

"Hm. Tell me exactly what happened, please."

Inuyasha frowned. "I-I think it's my fault. He was scared right at the beginning, but our youki took over so fast, he didn't have time to tell me why. He could barely talk. I don't know why. I could talk just fine."

"Because he is full youkai, and you are not. You retain some semblance of humanity even when your youki is at the fore. Emperor Sesshoumaru is not human to begin with."

"But all the times my demon took over before…." Inuyasha shuddered. "I definitely didn't have any humanity left in me."

"That's a very different situation. In severe distress, a hanyou's demon may utterly dominate their humanity as a measure of protection. They do not let go at all until the danger is past, until something reminds them they are safe. However, in youki transfers, your humanity peacefully concedes dominance of your body and instincts to your youkai. Since there is no threat, the demon in you has no need to take control of your human mind as well."

Inuyasha nodded. "That's pretty much exactly what happened. I was fully youkai for a minute, but without the homicidal rage. I could still think and talk, too."

"Yes, that's normal for hanyou in youki transfers. The emperor would have had much more trouble communicating in speech, I think."

"He was able to tell me the youki thing was normal, but that's about it. Everything else, I heard from his mind after the transfer started."

Kazuki's eyes widened. "You—from his mind? Kami, your bond went _that_ deep?"

Inuyasha winced. "That's not normal?"

"It's not bad. Just shocking considering you've only just reconciled. It means your bond is very strong. How strong, well… do you still hear him?"

"No, but I feel him. His emotions. He's really miserable, and I don't understand why."

"You _feel_ …?" Kazuki grimaced. "Oh, Kami. Inuyasha, where did you take his blood from?"

"Um, where? Does it matter?"

"Absolutely. The location determines the type of bond."

Inuyasha gasped. "W-what—how?"

"By the intimacy and level of dominance concerned with each place. A bite on the wrist establishes a friendly relationship, for example. Platonic bonds only. Or, like the emperor would have done for Miyuki, an elder family member to a younger one will offer their fingertip."

"Shit. He stuck out his hand right at the start. I just thought he wanted comfort, but…."

"Yes, he probably expected you to bite his wrist. Other locations can be harmful. For example, I doubt it would have occurred to you, but you could even have taken blood from his genitals, and—"

Inuyasha made a sound of horror and crossed his legs. " _Kami_ , no! Even if I wanted to, that would hurt like _hell_."

Kazuki gave him a grim nod. "It would have also subjugated him into sexual slavery to you."

"Holy _fuck_!" Inuyasha jumped up, ears flat back and heart racing. "No fucking way! You're telling me those kinds of bonds _exist_? Legitimately?"

Kazuki shuddered. "Legally, no, but the magic is, unfortunately, woven in to our youki and bodies."

Inuyasha gave a whine of horror. Slavery? No-no-no! He hadn't wanted to dominate Sesshoumaru! Surely his youki would have rejected the idea if it was such a terrible bond? And Sesshoumaru—he wouldn't have asked for it, right? But then, Inuyasha _was_ alpha and Sesshoumaru beta. What if their youkai natures didn't align with their human minds?

"Oh gods!" Inuyasha paced and tugged at his hair, panicked whines escaping his tight throat. "Shit-shit- _shit_! Kazuki, what did I do? What have I done to him?"

Kazuki laid a calming hand on Inuyasha's arm. "Peace. If it is a subjugation bond you do not want, there are ways to undo it. It would hurt and weaken you both, however, so we might not be able to alter it until Miyuki's youki levels stabilize."

Inuyasha took a few deep breaths and struggled to contain his panic. If he had injured Sesshoumaru's power or subjugated him, he would never forgive himself. 

"I'm a fucking idiot! Oh, Kami, I should have asked where. I just—it didn't occur to me that there was more than one place to get it, you know? Anywhere else seemed like it would only be a trickle at best and probably would be really awkward. I thought—fuck." 

"You thought…? Hm." To Inuyasha's surprise, some of the worry lines smoothed out of Kazuki's face. "I see. Where did you take his blood then?"

Inuyasha swallowed a surge of guilt and pointed to the side of his neck, over his pulse point.

"You took it from that side as well? Over the vein rather than the artery?"

Inuyasha nodded. "I-I didn't want him to bleed too much."

Kazuki sighed and slumped back into his chair. "Thank the Kami. That's not so bad. A bit—well, you're going to have some awkward discussions ahead of you, but you haven't enslaved him or hurt him. It's all right."

Inuyasha dropped onto the bed, knees suddenly too weak to support him. His heart fluttered like mad and his eyes stung. "Fuck. Oh, fuck, I was so scared." He shut his eyes tight before his tears could betray him and struggled to breathe. "You—you're sure it's okay, doc? I really didn't hurt him?"

Kazuki nodded. "He still has free will to decide where to go from here, as do you."

Inuyasha shuddered in relief. "Oh, thank fuck. I didn't want to hurt him."

"I think your demon would have stopped you if the bond had been detrimental then. For you to be this upset at the mere idea of taking his freedom, it's a core part of your values and personality, and your demonic side understands that."

Inuyasha nodded and wiped his eyes. "Good. Kami, that scared the shit out of me."

"An unfortunate side effect of terror among humans, or so I'm told."

Inuyasha choked, then burst into quiet snorts and giggles. "Hey, you're all right, doc."

Kazuki grinned. "We _are_ dog demons, you know."

Inuyasha laughed. "Yeah. Doesn't mean I'm going to start sniffing asses anytime soon."

Kazuki shrugged. "To each their own."

"Fair enough, I guess." Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "Joking aside, what did I do to him, doc? What kind of bond do we have?"

Kazuki hesitated. "It should come from him, but I think—no, you have a right to know so you can make an informed decision." He rested his hands on his knees. "The throat is the most intimate place for inuyoukai, at least of those places that don't harm the donor. It's reserved for romantic bonds. Had you bitten the other side, you would have claimed him as your submissive mate."

Inuyasha gasped. " _Fuck_! And the side I bit?"

"A courtship bond. You are, for lack of a better word, bonded partners, but not yet mates. To bite him again on that side of the neck with consent and full knowledge of what you do will mark him as your mate, without the dominance and submission factor. To bite him there again with no mating agreement between you will merely deepen and solidify your bond as partners."

"Oh goddamn, I'm _dating_ my oniisan?" Inuyasha whimpered and dropped his head into his hands. "Fuck."

"Don't worry about the blood relationship between you. If you were full brothers or humans, it would be a problem, but as you are both youkai and born of a different mother, the kinship bond is not close enough to cause trouble between you or, if you decide to embrace the bond, future pups. You will not harm his reputation either. Many youkai mate with kin on occasion to keep bloodlines pure, especially with so few of us left. As long as it is not every generation and the kinship bonds are not too close, there is nothing to worry about, not for hanyou and youkai."

"We're _brothers_. How can that not be too close?"

Kazuki shook his head. "You are _half_ -brothers. As we only take half of our genetics from each parent, you, at most, share a quarter of your genes with the emperor. In youkai, that is not enough to cause concern."

"That would definitely be a problem for humans, though. You're sure it's okay?"

"Yes. Youki cleanses genetic problems up to a certain point—about forty percent is the advised cutoff. Any closer than that, and some genetic anomalies may be seen in offspring, though even then, they're much less severe in youkai than in humans."

"Hanyou too? I'm half human, doc."

"Your demon half overrides that. Half human or not, you still have youki. Powerful youki, by all I've been told. The emperor believes no one other than himself can match you."

"Y-yeah. That's been our experience, but… goddamn." Inuyasha groaned and thumped his head into his hand. "I wouldn't need to worry about all this if I'd just asked him where to bite. Kami, I'm an idiot. And he's so terrified. Gods. I didn't mean to—I wouldn't force this on him. You said we still have free will?"

"To a point." Kazuki shook his head. "That, however, I think is something you need to discuss with the emperor. I will tell you this isn't something you can simply back out of with no consequences, but that's all I think I have the right to divulge. Anything else should come from him."

"Y-yeah. I guess you're right. Shit. What are we going to do about this?"

"Another question for the emperor. In the meantime, do you mind if I check your health?"

"No, go ahead." Inuyasha sighed and flopped against the headboard. Damn. He'd really gone and done it now.

_'I'm sorry, Kagome. I never wanted—but I'm in it now, and I don't think I can leave him to face this alone.'_

With a sigh, he forced his attention back to Kazuki's examination. No point in worrying about it until he talked to Shippou and Sesshoumaru. 

Kami, what a mess.


	9. Old Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties with the Meidou Zangetsuha story. Fair warning.

#  **Chapter 9**

##  _Old Ties_

Sesshoumaru returned just as Kazuki was leaving. Kazuki bowed and stepped aside with a quiet greeting, but said nothing further. Hm. Odd.

With a deep breath, Sesshoumaru steeled himself and knocked at the door. "Inuyasha? May I come in?"

"Yeah, you don't need to ask, aniki." Relief and worry tinged Inuyasha's tone. "You okay?"

No. No, Sesshoumaru could barely think for pain, but he had to bear it with grace. "I am better."

Inuyasha's eyes held deep remorse and concern. "Aniki, hey, it's gonna be okay. Come here."

Sesshoumaru suppressed a flinch and went to his brother's side. Inuyasha took one look at him and sighed. 

"Sesshoumaru, I meant sit with me." 

Sesshoumaru hesitated. "I…."

"Hey. It's okay, aniki. Come on."

Sesshoumaru stepped closer, and Inuyasha took his hands and guided him onto the bed beside him. 

"Kami, you're freezing! Were you out in the snow this whole time?"

Sesshoumaru buried his head in Inuyasha's shoulder. "I hardly noticed it. I was more concerned about…."

"Yeah." Inuyasha held him against his chest and tucked Sesshoumaru's fur around them. "There. Better?"

"It is part of me…."

"So it's cold, too." Inuyasha covered them with the blanket as well and held him closer. "Now, _that's_ better. You'll warm up faster with my body heat to help."

"It hardly matters to daiyoukai."

"It matters to me."

Sesshoumaru gave a soft purring sound and nudged his head closer. He couldn't help it. Damn him to hell, but he wanted this bond.

If only Inuyasha did, too.

Inuyasha stroked Sesshoumaru's hair. "Hey, listen to me, okay? It's going to be all right. We'll figure things out."

Sesshoumaru nodded and prayed it was true, though experience and common sense told him otherwise. Still, if this all fell apart in a few hours, he had better enjoy this time with his family while he could. 

With a little shudder of foreboding, he buried his pain deep and let Inuyasha's scent and presence drive his sorrow away. Inuyasha's arms were so warm, and his touch against his hair was the most intimate, gentlest caress he had known since his first mate had lived. His scent reminded Sesshoumaru of a forest in summer sunlight, like the woods they had once traveled through, before war and greed had decimated the landscape. Few of those forests remained, but in Inuyasha's arms, Sesshoumaru found a little piece of tranquility, a moment of respite for his weary soul.

A soft kiss brushed his forehead. "Shh. You're okay. I have you."

Sesshoumaru would have rebelled ferociously against such coddling once, but loss had taught him never to take love for granted. Inuyasha knew damn well he was strong and didn't need to be babied. He only wanted to comfort his distressed beta and soothe his fears, just as a good alpha should. Sesshoumaru sighed and pressed closer to the shining warmth of his alpha's devotion. Here, he could forget his troubles as long as Inuyasha held him. As long as this moment lasted, he could dream that it never had to end.

Yes. There would be time enough to grieve later, when this perfect illusion of love and belonging fled from the unforgiving truth. Until then, he would hold on to the light and keep this memory happy.

These few, precious moments might be all they ever had.

* * *

Inuyasha held his brother, relieved his presence had eased the daiyoukai's turmoil, but his own mind was a mess. Mates. He had set them on a path to be mates one day, whether by accident or not, and now he had to decide what to do about it. 

Shippou would be a problem. He had hated Sesshoumaru more than Inuyasha ever had from that day on the battlefield. The kitsune had never been able to forgive him for his abandonment, a choice that had cost Shippou everything, however indirectly. Would the knowledge that Sesshoumaru hadn't meant to leave them behind, that he had been out of his head with horror and grief—even knowing Sesshoumaru had just lost his only child that moment—would even that much be enough to surmount such tangible hatred?

Even if they convinced Shippou to stay, what then? Inuyasha had trapped them into a romantic relationship, even if he hadn't meant to, but did he want to pursue it? Did Sesshoumaru? 

Inuyasha couldn't be sure without asking him—and he needed time to gather his wits before they crossed _that_ line—but he had the idea that maybe Sesshoumaru wasn't opposed to this. It had terrified the daiyoukai at first, yes, but he hadn't been afraid of the bond, he'd feared losing Inuyasha and Miyuki.

Inuyasha sighed and traced the ridge of Sesshoumaru's ear. Sesshoumaru shivered a little and turned into the touch, his emotions electric and warm. So he would probably accept him if Inuyasha could open himself to the idea of mating with him. 

The real question, then came down to him. Did Inuyasha want this? Obviously, his youkai hadn't minded too much. 

_"Your demon side understands your core values and personality."_

Hm. If Kazuki was right—and the healer knew a damn sight more about this situation than Inuyasha—his demon would have rejected the idea of biting Sesshoumaru's neck if Inuyasha had truly been opposed to mating again. And that implied the feeling between them was mutual.

He hadn't touched anyone since Kagome, hadn't wanted to, and he had believed all this time that he had done it because he couldn't move on from her. Sesshoumaru, too, had stayed single, though Inuyasha didn't know if he had ever been sexually active again after Rin's death. They had both mourned their first lovers most of their lives, but this bond wouldn't have happened if some part of them hadn't been willing.

That pull between them, had that been what caused this? It was something to consider. They had truly been vicious to one another in the past, and each had abandoned the other for two centuries apiece, though for different reasons. They had fought each other fang and claw, hurt each other nearly to the point of death, and left each other to rot in their grief alone, but somehow, through all of it, their pack bond had never broken.

_"You are better together."_

Inuyasha thought back on the past, searching for a reason their bond had survived so much, and landed on his memory of inheriting Sesshoumaru's Meidou Zangetsuha. Sesshoumaru had tested him hard, had damn near killed him again, but at the end of the battle, he had offered Tensaiga's only real attack to Inuyasha freely. And, under the shock and wonder that had consumed Inuyasha that moment, he had felt something shift within him. Being young and naïve at the time, he hadn't known what it was, but after years of experience both with a mate and without, he understood now.

In that instant, Sesshoumaru had stopped fighting his fate as a beta and accepted Inuyasha as his alpha. 

What neither of them had realized at the time, but Inuyasha saw clearly now, was that it had gone far deeper than a simple alpha-beta bond. Inuyasha recalled his experience of courting Kagome, of watching Shippou court Momo, and he knew. 

They had begun a courtship bond long before Inuyasha had ever taken Sesshoumaru's blood.

The day Sesshoumaru had offered Inuyasha the Meidou Zangetsuha, he had accepted his alpha—all of him—and offered him a gift nothing could give back, a precious gift to be used to protect his pack and those he loved. And Inuyasha, when he offered Sesshoumaru a bond to Miyuki and trusted him to bring him through labor, had offered him an irreplaceable part of himself, too, a part of his home and a place in his family.

They had, however unwittingly, given each other the traditional gifts in a youkai courtship—the beta's gift of strength to their alpha, and the alpha's gift of home and hearth to their beta—each one a deeply personal and precious gift that could never be taken back.

Damn. Inuyasha's youkai must have read his acceptance of Sesshoumaru's youki for Miyuki and himself as acceptance of the 'offer' Sesshoumaru had made four hundred years ago, and that meant their youkai were already mated, or well on their way.

Fuck. 

Wait. Did that mean they were _really_ mated, not just partners? They had exchanged the ritual gifts, however unknowingly, and—wait.

Unknowingly? Inuyasha let out a breath of relief. No. They hadn't agreed to mate verbally, nor had they gone in fully cognizant or even fully willing, so they weren't mated yet.

That meant they still had a choice, right? Kazuki had said they could break the bond, but at what cost? He had also said it would come with consequences. Something about weakening them both. Was it a permanent situation? 

Shit. It just might be. Kazuki hadn't known about their youkai being… 'involved' when he had said they could break the bond, nor when he said that they hadn't known and therefore weren't mated. With their demonic natures already entwined so deeply, they might be too close to mated to back out now. 

Either way, ending the bond Inuyasha had accidentally begun might be dangerous, especially given how deep it went. Was it even worth it to try? 

Maybe not. Maybe breaking it wasn't an option, but that didn't mean they had to embrace it either. They had, apparently, been halfway to mated for four-hundred years, and that bond had never caused problems, even when they took other mates. So they could live with this bond now without acknowledging it and go on as brothers, right?

Somehow, Inuyasha doubted it would be so easy. 

Even if it was, did he want that? What about Sesshoumaru? Could he accept a platonic bond now that they had crossed this line, however it came about?

Inuyasha took stock of the emotions running through his silent companion and frowned against the daiyoukai's hair. Sesshoumaru seemed happy enough on the surface, but terrible fear lay underneath—that same fear that had sent him bolting from the room earlier. Sesshoumaru's emotions implied a desire to enjoy this while he could, before it was all snatched away from him again.

Inuyasha's eyes welled. Sesshoumaru wanted this. He wanted it badly enough to take whatever moments together he could get, even if heartbreak waited at the end of them. Gods. 

"Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru looked up, eyes full of concern. "What is it?"

Damn. Sesshoumaru had sensed Inuyasha's sudden pain. 

"I…."

What could he say here? He had half decided to give it a try, but everything depended on Shippou. If the kit couldn't overcome his past, Inuyasha couldn't leave him behind, but neither could he break Sesshoumaru. Either way, if he tried to reassure Sesshoumaru now and had to leave him later, it would only hurt more. 

Maybe it would break them _both_. After all, Inuyasha's youkai wouldn't have read his offer of Miyuki's bond as a courting gift if the human part of him hadn't wanted a closer bond, even if Inuyasha hadn't parsed his interest consciously. 

He nudged Sesshoumaru close again. "Just thinking of the past." Well, it _was_ true. "And the future."

A faint tremor passed through Sesshoumaru. "Inuyasha, for—for this moment, do you suppose we could only think of the present? I do not want this memory to be bittersweet." The words he hadn't said echoed in Inuyasha's heart. _'If it's the last one I'll ever have of us.'_

Tears threatened, but Inuyasha forced them back, forced everything from his mind but this. This sweet, tender moment between two former enemies, two brothers, two would-be lovers. 

Because, if this was the last time he could hold Sesshoumaru so closely, then by Kami, he didn't want to taint the memory with his fears either.

Inuyasha kissed Sesshoumaru's crescent marking and pulled him close enough to feel the daiyoukai's heartbeat against his own. 

"Yeah. We can do that."

Sesshoumaru nodded and rested against Inuyasha's shoulder, legs and arms intertwined and hearts beating out the seconds until this reprieve ended. 

_"I love you, aniki. I'm not sure what kind of love yet, but I love you. And we'll find some way to make this work. I promise you."_

Even if Inuyasha had no idea how.


End file.
